Monday, August 10, 2009
wow. =] double digits and i'm still with it. how cool.
i'm somewhat disappointed in the fact that its been five days since i've posted a blog, but i've been really busy. i have been doing well with food choices - although i still find that the weekend has been the hardest to stay on track with. saturday i can usually carry my motivation from friday over and stay on track... but come sunday, i'm ready to binge. how do i stop that feeling? i tried doing other things, like going for a run and then watching a movie... etc. but it definitely didn't work. i ended up eating mashed potatoes with gravy, hasbrown casserole, and breaded okra for lunch. not to mention the grilled sourdough bread i added. UGH. i felt like a cow afterward - so i decided to do some yard work to try and burn off some of what i might have just gained.
at least the one thing i am proud of it that i have been sticking with the running. saturday was raining and i still went running! i just threw on a hoodie and grabbed sweatpants and went for a run. it was one of the hardest runs i had been on... the humidity was awful and made it really hard to breathe. i am getting my time down though! thats good! i'm down to an eleven minute mile! i thought that was pretty impressive for not having been in any kind of shape previously. i'm hoping to work up to being able to do two miles or more - but i have to start small i've realized.
i think one of my biggest problems is the desire for instant gratification. i want to be thin and i want to be thin NOW, not three months from now. same thing with working out. when i work out i want to see results immediately after i work out - - - not six months after working out. maybe thats why i haven't stuck with anything in the past? i can say though, just before i got married i was in amazing shape. i was going to the gym five days a week for two hours a day - - lifting, running, sculpting... omg, i looked great - i'll admit it. i had abs, and definition in my legs, arms, even my butt! but a few weeks after the wedding it all went soft relatively quickly, and i got discouraged, and then i gained about 30 lbs. ugh. thats been the story of my life - - - up and down ---- up and down ---- up and down.
i have a question. i thought that by running i would add to my weight loss. i thought it would help me lose weight and keep it off easier - but it seems like i've plateau'd and that i'm actually gaining. its not possible for me to gain muscle already would it be? my husband says i need to stop worrying about a slight increase, but i've been running every day, i thought the weight would start to fall off - - but its actually gone up a pound (and this was pre-sunday binge). any ideas what could cause me to gain instead of lose?! i mean, heck, my dog has even lost weight running with me every day - why can't i?!