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My son would be 30 today

Friday, July 31, 2009

I woke up this morning with a heavy heart.
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Today is my son's 30th Birthday. he is not here to Celebrate it with me because he is with his Heavenly Father..


Tom's First B-Day




Tom Loved getting attention, & I Loved giving it!


Charlie Daniels & Tom

JJ & Tom @ Fire Academy

Always looking for attention

This morning when I logged into Spark the Quote was perfect, the words are the words I would hear my son telling me if I felt I was going into a pitty party.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

I can't wait for the day I will see him again. Yet today I am happy to know he is in Heaven sitting at the Big table with lots of food in the big big house with our Heavenly Father..
"Big House" was one of Tom's Favorite Songs

This AM on Face book I got this message from a Very Special Friend.
Ed Dailey ~ I had a fun memory of Tom the other day, …. Him having fun, messing around in a tree near our place. He didn’t get to stay here on earth as long some. But I know he had fun, he enjoyed life and people more than most. He was loved and knew it, and he made others feel special with his large personality. That is a lot more than most people, ..In a short number of years. God bless you guys.

This is how I am celebrating Tom's Birthday.. I am playing Hookie from Work and I am going to spend the day with Mandi, Maddie & Isabella. Can't think of anything Better, can you??

Through all of our days of Happiness, Burdens, Hurts, Sorrow and Pain we need to give our Heavenly Father the Glory.. We are all here to honor him.

How comforting it is, Father to know that you watch over us. May we live confidently, aware of your presence always. Amen.

Always Hug your family, never let the Sun go down on your anger & Take time to smell the flowers and Say I LOVE you.
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Becki
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEANNE229 8/18/2009 5:32PM

    Mothers share a heart with their children forever, regardless if they can see them in person or in their memories.

Tears and hugs to you.

Jeanne

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BSTAKINGACTION 8/13/2009 4:40PM

    I'm speechless and my heart just grew twice its size (in a healthy way). So sorry I missed this and that I wasn't able to share this with you in person. He sounds like an amazing young man and you're right....I intend to live everyday free of the bowlines and appreciate all that I have been blessed with.

Love and hugs.

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FISHINGLADY66 8/3/2009 10:27PM

    Becca Thank you for sharing Tom's Birthday with us. God has a plan for all of us. I hope your day was pleasant.
God Bless you
Irene

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PAMTHEDREAMER 8/3/2009 9:39PM

    Beautiful memories of a beautiful son Becki. He was and is so loved. *Big hug*

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LILWASPUD 8/3/2009 7:09PM

    Becki, thank you so much for sharing Tom with us. He is a lucky son to have a mother who loves him so very much, and you are a lucky mother to have him watching over you. It's nice that you have such wonderful memories to hold onto. And the quote is perfect. emoticon

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JAZZYJB 8/3/2009 6:08PM

    Becki
I am so glad you have shared your wonderful son Tom with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you reflect on his life. God Bless
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NAVYMOM133 8/3/2009 5:52PM

    Dear Becki,
Thank you for sharing about Tom, what a great kid and person in this life. Thank you for being such a wonderful person and ALWAYS giving of yourself. This is such a special message. I am happy to know about him.
With love and hugs to you,
Melly

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MARATHONMOM26.2 8/2/2009 12:41AM

    Thank you for sharing this blog with us all. I know this was a very difficult day for you, as the whole month has been. I am sure that Tom is happy and is smiling as he watches you and the girls. He is always alive in your heart and nothing can change that; I too will always celebrate Tom's birthday from now on, so that his time on earth will never be forgotten. *HUGS* to you dear friend...

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GOMARTI 8/1/2009 3:44PM

    Here's a hug for you. You're in my prayers.

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FLORIDASUN 8/1/2009 11:44AM

    Hi Fellow Sparkie Friend:

I don't know how I happened across your page..but it was definitely for a reason. We are kindred spirits in the loss of our beautiful sons.

I lost mine at the tender age of 22..sigh..he was the UNIVERSE to his father and I..Josh had such a brilliant future ahead of him.

I really thought I would just die right along with him..I surely wanted to when his dad and I were informed. We were sooo helpless thousands of miles away on a cruise ship celebrating our 28th wedding anniversary with friends.

The guilt of leaving him at home..when somehow (mother's instinct) I felt something was "off"...it was a tug at my heart...our friends saying you MUST come..Josh saying you MUST go...

I can never go back in time to change the past..so all I can do is move forward and honor his memory and try to fulfill some of his many life goals. I've added you as a friend because we are surely connected..we can help each other down this path towards health and hopefully happiness once again. May your son celebrate a wonderful birthday...he's watching you from heaven above and thanking you for honoring him!

Your Florida friend,

Bobbi emoticon

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NO_SNOW_BODY 8/1/2009 11:01AM

    God Bless you and sharing your day with those that you love is PERFECT.
Bonnie

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MOESTAR1603 8/1/2009 12:31AM

    My heart goes out to you emoticon ..He is in a much better place looking down on you and wishing you well...I am sure he is always by your side emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LRIVHOD0508 7/31/2009 11:37PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BARBARII 7/31/2009 11:21PM

    What wonderful photos of your son. What a blessing to have had the years with him that you did. I'm so sorry that you didn't have more of them.
Warm thoughts.

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PO_PAZZA 7/31/2009 10:40PM

    Dear Beccacoats, we have both lived through the hardest thing we'll ever have to face, losing a child. People sometimes ask, "How long did it take you get over it?" I answer, "I'll never get over it. I just get through it."

My thoughts are with you and your dear son as I think about my son, too. Thank you for sharing and bringing both our boys' memories to light with your words. The memories are good ones.

Bless you,
Mary



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RILEYMOM08 7/31/2009 10:33PM

    Wow, as a mother of an amazing one year old son my heart sobbed a mothers sob as I read your loving post. Bless you and your family.
You touched me deeply.


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CAMERONBEAR 7/31/2009 9:45PM

    You were lucky to have had him.

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SAMANTHAAPRIL 7/31/2009 7:58PM

    My heart goes out to you today. You and your family are in my prayers. emoticon

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DUTCHEGO 7/31/2009 7:55PM

    Thanks for sharing. I know these anniversaries are hard. I do something special every year on my brothers' birthdays too... and know that they are in Heaven watching out for me. Though I admit, like you, can't wait to join them!! Have a great day. Let God give you some comfort in his arms emoticon

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JENNIFER124 7/31/2009 6:50PM

    Becki-- i am so glad you blogged this in honor of your son.. and that we get to share with his birthday.. happy birthday to your boy and many hugs to you...what beautiful pictures.. i am so glad you will be with your girls today.. much love, jen

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GRANNY604 7/31/2009 5:26PM

    I know honey, it hardbut has you said he is with the Lord.
I lost my son 16, years ago the 4 of July and Oct 5, he would be 39
my hear is with you.

God Bless You

Geneva

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LUNCHLADYCHRIS 7/31/2009 4:31PM

    Thank you for your sharing such a personal moment and helping us all to reflect on the importance of living our lives the best we can. Your son seemed to be an an amazing young man. My thoughts are with you today!!

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BESTSUSIEYET 7/31/2009 4:31PM

    Becki - praying for God to give you a wonderful day, full of special memories and his extraordinary peace! Thank you for sharing this day with us! God is Good -- All the Time! emoticon

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WEEDENMJ 7/31/2009 4:26PM

    My thoughts are with you as well as my prayers. We never know what life God has in store for us and what will unfold. I am glad to see that you take comfort in knowing your son is in heaven dancing with angels and that one day you will be reunited. I know how it feels to lose a child, I lost my daughter and there is not a day goes by that I dont think of her.

Spending they day with your precious grandkids is a wonderful thing to do and a good excuse to play hookie from work!

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EVETROY 7/31/2009 3:52PM

    I am so glad you are taking your heavy heart to be with your family. How wonderful for you to know you will see him again. I'd give you the biggest hug if I could.

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Eve

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KEEPSAKES66 7/31/2009 3:49PM

    My heart feels for you. I lost my only brother (only sibbling) in 88. my brother would have been 40 this year. nice way to spend the day , with your grandbabies. They are a treasure that is for sure. my parents always said that about my kids, now that I am a grandmother myself I so understand.

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LUVSBULLDOGS 7/31/2009 3:09PM

    Thanks for sharing with us. You raised a wonderful man. Be comforted by knowing that some day you too will be with Him.

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MISSY_MAGOO 7/31/2009 2:21PM

    I think spending the day with your beautiful grandbabies is a perfect way to spend the day. And although I never knew Tom I'm sure he would think that smiling and enjoying your family is the perfect way to celebrate his life.
emoticon Missy

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LMMONTES 7/31/2009 2:04PM

    Dearest Becki I can't always understand the right and wrong of what God has in store for us and our loved ones, I just remember that if someone we love is taken it's because God need that special angel up in heaven to help with the precious ones left behind. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STACEYSGETNFIT 7/31/2009 1:57PM

    Becki,
I know that although it is a sad day here on earth, He and Tom are celebrating in Heaven!
Hugging you through the web,
Stacey

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PYGMY4 7/31/2009 12:30PM

  My thoughts and my heart are with you today. I have two children who live in heaven and maybe they are saying "Happy Birthday" to him today. I had a son leave me as 23 and a daughter as 13. Mike would have been 48 in August and Heather would have been 29 in June. Isn't it good to hear their names spoken? And we do think of them every day, don't we? I know your pain and I know your joy, and I know we will see them again. I have written a book of poetry about my children that has helped me cope with the grief and the anger, the hurt and the love I can't give them anymore. It has helped me cope. But we know they don't want us to grieve always for them because they are in a far better place than are we who are left behind. Part of the poem I wrote for my daughter's gravestone said "She suffers earth's tragedies no more, Her soul has flown to a far distant shore." And that is so true. She has nothing now but happiness in her life. And from another poem that someone else wrote, "I am not far away, for life goes on" makes me think of my son. Have a good day and good memories.

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DOGSNRODENTS 7/31/2009 12:00PM

    As sad as this occasion is, I think your comfort comes from the fact that Tom is in heaven partying it up, and the knowledge that eternity with your son in heaven is so much more time than the few years you had with him on earth -- and eternity will be so much more rewarding and joyful too!

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HUSKERGAL27 7/31/2009 11:45AM

    I am so sorry for this sad anniversary, but it is a blessing that you have wonderful memories and you have the faith to know you will see Tom again some day.

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STRIDERGIRL 7/31/2009 11:18AM

  I cannot imagine the pain you have been through. Your son would have been proud of how strong his mother is. Take care, KR

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AMBUDMAN 7/31/2009 10:55AM

    This blog is especially close to my heart. My son would have been 41 on April 30th. Thank you.

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KARRILEE 7/31/2009 10:54AM

    Wow - I am praying for you and am so thankful for friends and our Friend - who love and pour out Peace and Comfort on us when we need it most! Celebrate life today with those little ones and know that you, and Tom, are loved by Papa!

Spark On!
~Karrilee~


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NTRICK 7/31/2009 10:52AM

    Î'm so sorry for your loss. My grandfather passed away a little bit ago and I cann't fathom losing a child. Your post is a beautiful reminder of a life lived - and your deep love for your son.
cheers to you today, SparkFriend.

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AUNTKITTY 7/31/2009 10:40AM

    Today must be hard for you, but you are remembering your son in a wonderful way. And someday, you'll cross that rainbow bridge and see him again -- both of you happy and healthy and free.
Blessings to you.

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