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    RAYLINSTEPHENS   196,820
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The Shame and Pain of Regaining


Friday, July 31, 2009

Today I read a blog by Nancy Howard, "The Shame and Pain of Regaining"
www.dailyspark.com/blog.
asp?post=the_shame_and_pai
n_of_regaining


She ends her blog asking these questions: "Have you experienced a weight loss only to regain? How did it make you feel? If you have lost weight, do you feel it is only a matter of time before you regain the weight or have you accepted the fact that this journey is about changing your life and not just a number on the scale?"

For me the difference really has been SparkPeople!

In the past I did regain every pound I ever lost and each pound picked up a buddy on the way back. It didn't make me feel good but I was never ashamed because no one wants to be fat. I just didn't know how to keep the weight off.

This time will be different because over the past 16 months I have learned how to manage my food budget.

Is this still just a number on the scale? I don't know. I only know I will never be overweight again as long as I am in control of my life. I am old enough to have seen too many debilitating illnesses that take control out of the hands of the person and yes, it can lead to weight gain. But my main focus has always been on my health, not on my size - so I am as confident as anyone can be that I will be able to control my weight from this day forward. I will never again be fat and I will never be hungry again either!!

**edit: for those that wish they can share SparkPeople - we can! I tell people all the time. I try very hard to get them to sign up even if I fear they will not stay. I didn't stay the first time, but I returned 2 years later! Keep trying, even if it takes a couple of years, we don't know who we can reach today.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CICI510 7/31/2009 7:23PM

    I really needed to read this today. :) emoticon

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FINDINGREALME 7/31/2009 1:13PM

    I also thought of Scarlett O'Hara when I read your blog...almost heard the southern accent too:-)

I still weigh in everyday and get frustrated when it doesn't move or (gulp) moves up but I don't feel that changes who I am. It doesn't make me a failure. This is a big change for me.

Deep down I know I will get there this time...not sure why really...just because I now see that I can do it if I do the right things on a consistent basis. Also, because I truly believe that I deserve it and see now that eating too much or eating the wrong things only hurts me -- it doesn't hurt the person who I am anger with or whatever emotion I am feeling. That is an even bigger change!

Without SP and my friends here, I doubt I would ever have made that connection! As the other poster said, I look at people and wish I could share what I have found but most are still in "victim" mode and are not ready.

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MSLZZY 7/31/2009 12:19PM

    I made my peace with the scale and now focus on how I feel and how my clothes fit! I have more energy and ambition to do more and be more. I guess that is
all the motivation I have received from you and all the other Sparkers who
daily remind me that numbers are just that. Numbers don't tell the whole
story.
I am content with me, comfortable in my skin and so glad that SP changed
my life for the better.
Keep on posting these excellent reminders of why we are here! It is a lifestyle
that promotes good health and good habits! emoticon

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JJJ1226 7/31/2009 10:34AM

    I agree with everyone, Tatter "focus on the positives" I need to do more of this, mscandace, sometimes the scales run me too, I'll have to work on my negative thoughts, jerseygirl, I like Kristi, when I saw her the other week on Oprah I was wondering why she didn't join us here on SP? In fact these last few days, when I see other people (grocery store, drug store, ect.. I find myself looking at them and wishing for them that they will find SP. I can't think of anyone that's wants to be over weight, or anyone that doesn't care about their health.

raylinstephens's, thanks for the post it was a good one

Have A Great Day :) emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/31/2009 10:38:13 AM

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JERSEYGIRL24 7/31/2009 10:03AM

    You sound like Scarlett O'Hara at the end of GWTW Part 1!!! Maybe that's the southern belle in you LOL.

Seriously though, I agree about Spark People. I actually have a blog written offline about Kirstie Alley, and I am probably going to post it soon, maybe today. For some reason, her failure story intrigues me but maybe for different reasons than what Nancy blogged about.

Until SP, I too had lost weight and regained it more times than I care to admit. It is only now that I have been able to control myself. It really is a fabulous plan. I also firmly believe that when you do this for health and lifestyle reasons, you are more successful than when you do it simply to look good (especially to look "skinny" or "like a supermodel"). And of course, the good looks will follow. It sounds like you feel that way, too, and obvously you have been successful.

emoticon

Leslie

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MSCANDICE25 7/31/2009 10:02AM

    I like this blog of yours and you are right as long as we are in control we can be were we need to be to living a healthy lifestyle and that is something that we need to keep in mine and dont let the #'s run us like it does me from time to time.. but thank you for this blog!!!

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TATTER3 7/31/2009 10:01AM

    I agree with you. Having a community of support like SP has made a huge diffrence for me as I work toward my goal. The number on the scale is not my focus...the ability to move, climb, and even get in and out of a bathtub more easily are wonderful accomplishments for me. Like you, if I focus on the positives...I won't be overweight forever. Keep Sparkin'!

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