Sunday, July 26, 2009
One of the reasons I originally packed on the pounds was some negative relationships (nuff said) that I had with the opposite sex. The extra weight made me feel like I was protecting myself from the more predatory males out there. It made me feel safe. Let's call a spade a spade: it made me feel unattractive.
Becoming comfortable with who I am and feeling safe with my husband has been as much a part of this process as has been calorie counting. In fact, it was the years of preparation and security building within my marriage which has made my weight loss possible at all.
Now, I am getting glances again. I am getting beyond glances again. I am getting "I could hit that" comments while I am out for a walk with my two young children. It scares me. It makes me want to run and hide. It makes me want to gain weight again.
I want to be healthy. I want to look good too. How do I balance looking good and unwarranted attention? As easy as it would be to just gain weight again and not deal with it, I would instead like to figure this problem out. Why? So when Evie grows up she will never have to hide...ever.