Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I've kinda started this blog in a sparkmail to one of my sparkbuddies, so I hope she understands if I'm repeating myself. I just need to vent.
I'm tired and frustrated. I really need to whine.
I started this job back in October. I have been questioning my decision to move over to the new job for a while now.
I guess my problem is that I need to learn how to stand up for myself. I can not let this job, or more specifically, this boss, make me feel bad about myself. I take everything personally. I'm the first to admit it. But, when I hear others making comments to me about this boss being a "jackass" or "the devil", I know it is not me. (And no, I do not express my feelings about my boss to others. They volunteer their opinions to me.)
I'm struggling with feelings about this job . . .it's making me feel bad and I'm so trying to stay away from my old comforts (eating junk, vegging out) and going for good things to feel better. Venting is one of them (thanks for listening!) I'm starting to make a work out routine to help too. That is, if I don't have to work late, unpaid, that is.
I feel like I need to stand up to my boss and tell him to stop being so mean and degrading (okay, I sound like a 10 year old, but that's what he is~he had my coworker in tears yesterday!)
But, I don't want to lose my job either. I'm never good at standing up for myself. It's one of the reasons the why I weigh so much. I've eaten so much to make myself feel better, but wound up abusing my body.
How do I stop feeling this way? How do I stand up for myself????? How do I not go home and cry and eat and taking it out on my dh?
I think to myself that I didn't go to school for this. I think I have to go back to school and get my masters.
Okay, now I am rambling. Thanks for listening and letting me get a bit of this off my chest. I know that here, no one knows my boss or will rat me out, lol.
Well, back to the job I really do like!