I don't blog much - but I need to vent!! Here's some history.... I had my first son at the age of 15 and he has lived w/ the Gramma on his dad's side since he was 2.. I always paid support, about $250 a month, but when you only make $10 an hr, have a partially paralyzed husband, and a son that lives with us too - $250 was alot.

Well late last fall the older sons' dad got outta prison, where'd he'd spent 90% of his adult life, and the gramma hands him custody!! PA state laws are tuff on child support - they can take 55% of your income!!! (at the same time, I only get $20/mo from Tre's dad for him!! - So lose-lose for me!) He took me thru the courts, and my child support flew to $650 a month!!! (do the math - 40h @ $10 = $400 gross - taxes take another hundred, he gets $150 - I get $160.

What kept me going is the fact that I sell concrete additives and summer was around the corner... Tho it's only 2% commissions; it helps and I was looking forward to it soooo much!! I knew, if i could get a few good commissions - some could be put back to carry us on the winter months, and he is almost 17 and will graduate in 2 yrs -- so it is temporary!! I was really trying to stay optimistic - glass half full and all that!!

This is JULY and my commissions are (wouldn't ya know) down 80%!! I have this big acct - 60% of my sales came from this one acct!!! We had (what I thought to be) great rapport, and I really depended on them!! All year, they too, were down on sales, and she kept saying "next month" then in April she determined it'd prolly be July... I was counting the days to their big order.. Quoted them a week or two ago and never heard back :( Emailed them Monday to see what the status was -- never heard back (i had a hunch) So today, I nonchalantly emailed them asking if they got my last email - I told her I didn't see it in my sent folder and thought maybe it didn't come thru. She promptly replied and said she was sorry, but we were beat out on price.... I gave her my BOTTOM BARREL price!! Tho, had I known - I could've went to the boss about it, and attempt to accommodate - I told her this and she replied that she was so sorry - it was outta her hands and she didn't even know the bosses were price shopping.

I LOST IT - It takes alot for me to shed a tear and this did it!! My sales are so far in the hole already and now this - My biggest acct - GONE - POOF along with at LEAST $5-6K a year in commissions ON TOP of the 55% that junkee is taking!!

My DH and I bought our first home last August -- nothing fancy, a little 1.5 story home on a small lot - It was under what we wanted to stay under, so we took out another small loan for a fence for our girls (fur children) Between the mortgage and that payment it's about $700 a month... and I AM NOT BRINGING EVEN THAT IN!!My DH gets $975 in disability and tho it does help - it's just not enough to......... LIVE!!!!!!

I am just sick - IDK what the heck I am gonna do - or if I even CAN do anything - that prick won't budge to agree on anything - nor will the judge - They said even if I make $10K LESS it'd only go down $20/mo WTF>!>! Once again, middle class gets screwed!!

If you are still reading my rant -- thank you for listening and sorry to bore you so long.... I am just devastated.... So if anyone knows how I could make some spare money please lmk... Right about now I am up for anything (well almost. ;) I am at my wits end!!

#&$@