Disappointed in myself
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Here it is, July 15th already. I have not done well on my own. I have been a disappointment to myself and I am sure I have not been a breathe of fresh air to many. I need to take a good look at what I have and am doing to myself and try with my mind and heart to make this work. I don't know why I am afraid to make myself healthier and happier. Guess I think that if I don't eat it now I am going to never get something to eat. NOT A GOOD THING!
Member Comments About This Blog Post
These walls we come up against, especially when the wall(s) are inside of ourselves, are like the lights going on, on the dashboard of our car.
They let us know they are there and needing attention. They are sending us signals.
It's still our decision what to do with it! We can ignore it, we can reframe it in positive self talk and label it a "happy light", or we can take it in to a mechanic. We can park it at home until we work extra jobs to get the money to fix it, if the budget can't take the mechanic right now.
You wrote "I need to take a good look at what I have and am doing to myself". Yes. SP is like ten different programs rolled up into one, because after the few outer shallow layers of the onion are peeled, then we have to deal with what lies beneath which is not as simpy dealt with. The deeper things are not as easy. The walls inside of us. The character defects. The unfinished developmental tasks leftover from tough childhoods.
So the light on your dash is now on and has your attention. Take a good look under the hood, at what you're doing to yourself. There's no shame in that. It is a loving, caring, nurturing thing to look at what you're doing to yourself. Pretend you are looking after a child, or your best friend, either of whom you would treat with grace and care not judgement. And if you look under the hood and can't fix it, take it in to the mechanic; and there's no shame in that.
Either way, this happpening to you is a blessing. Because it's shining a spotlight on the buried reason(s) why we remain overweight. The light on your dash is a blessing. The disappointment is a blessing. Loving, caring, and nurturing the part of you that is crying out for care, is a blessing.
This is just another Lifestyle Change along the way. There's water, and sleep, and exercise, and nutritious food, and staying in calorie range, and then there is also this. Just another one of the Lifestyle Changes we need to tackle. (If we don't learn this lesson, then we can take the weight off but sooner or later we'll gain it back again. Or, we'll just keep gaining and die early.) That's another reason this is a blessing. Because this time we're learning how to stop that cycle. This is part of the process, and it is critical and absolutely necessary. And there's lots of support here while you do it this time.
2993 days ago
Do you know how many times I've come to the brink of giving up tossingin the towel because this is taking so LOOOOONG! I only have 50 pounds to lose yet and I'm lucky if i see the scales move once every two three months! SO you know what I threw the scales into the darkest nether regions and rely on what the measuring tape read how my clothing fits and how I feel in mind body and spirirt. Weighing myself even once a week we throwing me into depression because I couldn't get the numbers to go down. And I'm doing evrything right!!!!!!
I'm eating right; eating the right things and portioning them out I make sure I'm NOT below 1200 calories a day. I make sure my fat percentage is between 15-20 percent 30 is the norm. I make sure my carbs protien and sodium levels are within their proper ranges. i'm exercising in oxygen 30 minutes every day. I'm doing my resistance training every day alternating lower and upper body. I'm making sure my body stays adequately hydrated You name it I'm doing it. But the weight CREEPS along.
Soif i can do all of this and still have little to no signs of weight loss the way it should be dropping and still kick defeat to the curb SO CAN YOU!
2994 days ago
Turn your disappointment into action...just, like Quilt and Lou said, don't ever give up!
My recent revelation is that my weight issue is not about food...it's about unmet needs. Since I started looking at WHY I eat as well as what I eat...things are becoming increasingly clearer. I've been on the yoyo roller coaster for twenty years...but evidently "God's timing" for this for me is NOW.
I thank God for SP, and all the great people here. Sometimes giving a voice (text) to your thoughts, and the feedback of others can turn lights on in an otherwise dark place. You are not alone. One day at a time!
2994 days ago
now that you know what the problem is you can fix it.make the food is not going away your mantra count to ten and think before you put something in your mouth. you can do this you will do this. you may not be getting enough calories earlier in the day .try a big breakfast snack at 10 lunch snack at 3. then healthy supper.eat whole food not processed when you can.snack on fruit nuts or yogurt.wishing you luck. you can do it.
2994 days ago
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up! You CAN do it. Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and the day is done. You CAN do it. -- Lou
2994 days ago
I think the most important thing is that you have NOT given up!! Just keep placing one foot in front of the other ~ remember those baby steps, take this one hour at a time....then one meal at a time.
We CAN do this together!!!!
2994 days ago
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