Why does my stomach look like my butt?
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Perhaps this is the bottom of the barrel. The lowest of the low. Nowhere to go but up. Today I realized I have a seriously large butt...on my stomach.
I wish I were kidding but I'm not. The giant dough-like blob that has somehow accumulated around my midsection has now divided itself into two distinct portions. If I push them together (or attempt to put on any of my pants) the effect is...well...butt crack. On my belly.
How did this happen?
What happened to my life?
One day I was cool, crazy, sexy, fun, adventurous. Today I woke up pushing 40, fat, sad and boring.
I'll get to the sad part later - that's a post of its own. But the fat part? How did it happen? Maybe it's the anti-depressants. Or the two kids. A hormone imbalance? Or perhaps it's the four packages of Oreo Straws I ate today.
Maybe it's time to get off my front-butt and do something about it. Again. Maybe.