Thursday, July 09, 2009
Perhaps this is the bottom of the barrel. The lowest of the low. Nowhere to go but up. Today I realized I have a seriously large butt...on my stomach.
I wish I were kidding but I'm not. The giant dough-like blob that has somehow accumulated around my midsection has now divided itself into two distinct portions. If I push them together (or attempt to put on any of my pants) the effect is...well...butt crack. On my belly.
How did this happen?
What happened to my life?
One day I was cool, crazy, sexy, fun, adventurous. Today I woke up pushing 40, fat, sad and boring.
I'll get to the sad part later - that's a post of its own. But the fat part? How did it happen? Maybe it's the anti-depressants. Or the two kids. A hormone imbalance? Or perhaps it's the four packages of Oreo Straws I ate today.
Maybe it's time to get off my front-butt and do something about it. Again. Maybe.