When will I ever learn?
Thursday, July 09, 2009
My older brother, Wayne, will turn 70 this year. After our mother's 90th birthday last year it occurred to me that he is the only of her 5 children who has never hosted her birthday. So I told him a year in advance that it was his turn. I suggested he reserve a shelter in a park or make dinner reservations. Not beyond his ability.
After repeated inquiries as to how things were going, 2 weeks before the event, he told me he thought if we put it off, someone else would do it. I told him we did have alternate plans, but if we had to use them, HE was NOT invited.
So he decided we should all go to Great Amerrika amusement park. I couldn't criticize since I had left it to him. I took Mom there in her wheelchair since that would be too much walking for her. We saw a cake, but when she asked about cutting it, he said later. He spent the time enjoying the rides and ignoring his mother until after 5 1/2 hours I told him I was taking her home. All of a sudden there was a flurry of gifts and cards and did we want to take the cake with us? She opened the cards, I put the gifts in the trunk, and we said "no" to the sheet cake. We got home, I gave her something to eat, and she went right to bed. She was tired for three days.
I'm not sure if he was being passive-aggressive or if he is just that stupid and self absorbed. Maybe a little of each.
Anyway, as it applies to me and getting back on track (I have gained 7 pounds back) I need to be selfish. I can't let the fact that Mother lives with me mean that I have to cater to my siblings. When they come to visit her, that should be my time to do whatever I want. I can't let myself feel stressed to the point of "needing" chocolate. This is my challenge.
The birthday is over. The life begins.