Thursday, July 09, 2009
My older brother, Wayne, will turn 70 this year. After our mother's 90th birthday last year it occurred to me that he is the only of her 5 children who has never hosted her birthday. So I told him a year in advance that it was his turn. I suggested he reserve a shelter in a park or make dinner reservations. Not beyond his ability.
After repeated inquiries as to how things were going, 2 weeks before the event, he told me he thought if we put it off, someone else would do it. I told him we did have alternate plans, but if we had to use them, HE was NOT invited.
So he decided we should all go to Great Amerrika amusement park. I couldn't criticize since I had left it to him. I took Mom there in her wheelchair since that would be too much walking for her. We saw a cake, but when she asked about cutting it, he said later. He spent the time enjoying the rides and ignoring his mother until after 5 1/2 hours I told him I was taking her home. All of a sudden there was a flurry of gifts and cards and did we want to take the cake with us? She opened the cards, I put the gifts in the trunk, and we said "no" to the sheet cake. We got home, I gave her something to eat, and she went right to bed. She was tired for three days.
I'm not sure if he was being passive-aggressive or if he is just that stupid and self absorbed. Maybe a little of each.
Anyway, as it applies to me and getting back on track (I have gained 7 pounds back) I need to be selfish. I can't let the fact that Mother lives with me mean that I have to cater to my siblings. When they come to visit her, that should be my time to do whatever I want. I can't let myself feel stressed to the point of "needing" chocolate. This is my challenge.
The birthday is over. The life begins.