Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Particularly with my eating choices. I have eaten 500 calories or more over my upper limit on 4 of the past 7 days. It didn't help that Josh made a huge tray of brownies with frosting. I need to push past this, get back on track.
Yesterday in class I gave a presentation about sexual assaults committed against homeless women. Some of you might know or remember that I work with persons who are experiencing homelessness and have a mental illness. I felt so raw and emotional about the whole thing, I started crying and my voice started cracking about 30 seconds in to my presentation. Crying in front of others is so painfully awkward - I guess that is a cultural thing. I just didn't predict that I would react that way to the material that I was presenting.
I made it through my presentation and I think I was at least understandable, and I feel safe within the context of the classroom (my classmates were very kind) but I still feel a shadow of anxiety, of vulnerability about the whole situation.
I also did not sleep a wink the night before last (thankfully last night was blissfully uninterrupted, or I don't know if I could make it through work and class today!). I feel somewhat guilty that I did not exercise yesterday... but I already walked today. And plus I know, I KNOW, that it is okay, that I can't do everything on days when I am working and in class for all but a few hours of my day.
Okay, time to pull myself up by my boot straps and get back on the right path, the path that makes me feel good about myself.