The "whys" behind my step-down as leader.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
My dad had to have the Fistula removed from his left arm and put into his right arm but his left arm is still swollen, really badly swollen. The short version is the blood cannot get out of his left arm due to the lead from his defibrillator/pacemaker occluding the vein.
So we went back to the surgeon yesterday and would you believe it, his body remade the Fistula in his left arm?! It will need surgery again to remove it again. So now he has a Fistula in each arm and goes for a 3rd surgery on Monday, July 6th.
The day before Father's Day, June 20, Ray fell over my treadmill in the back hallway because he couldn't see it. The reason he couldn't see it is someone closed the bedroom door making the hallway too dark. He scraped his arms and has a really bad one on his left arm that tore the skin in a gash about 1"X7" and we had to rush to the ER where they removed the skin that was no longer attached. They bandaged him and we were to go to the Hospital Wound Center on Tuesday - and they dressed it like a burn and told us not to touch it until Friday but she used gauze instead of non-stick Telfa. I did ask about that but was assured it would not stick to the wound. On Friday the dressing would not come off necessitating an emergency visit to his G.P. to have the wound redressed the right way. We did not return to the Wound Center!
After the fall, Ray started complaining of pain in his back and side but there was nothing showing. Then a rash popped up. Yup, bless his heart, he got shingles. Shingles can appear due to stress and Ray had stress the past few weeks what with the reunion coming. For some reason he was in a panic that I hadn't started cleaning fanatically (the way I usually did) and that was worrying him; the fall just finished him off.
So I am doctoring his left arm for a bad scrape of 6-8 inches where they had to cut off the scraped skin and also trying to tend to his shingles. And doctoring my father's left arm because the swelling caused a lesion that is draining fluid. And I still have to cover his "temporary dialysis hookup" when he insists on showering. Short version, there are 2 tubes coming out of his neck/shoulder area and water must not enter his body through the hole. So he is showering on the mornings of dialysis because we are not always successful in keeping the water out and fear of infection is always with us.
I just had to step down as leader of both my teams because I just have no time for me anymore, I can barely take care of Ray & Dad, and just am unable to squeeze more hours out of my day right now to help other spark members in a leadership capacity. Praise the Lord, He will show me the way to continue without losing my mind and I can still offer support to those who will need it.
I know I don't owe an explanation to anyone. But I feel my reason for stepping down was necessary and I didn't want anyone to think otherwise.
I will still be here for anyone reaching out for support and motivation.
"there's always room for one more"
I thank you all for being so understanding. Monday dad has his 3rd surgery - I sure do hope this will be the last for a while.