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    KATAKITOMOTSIN   24,365
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Learning About Myself


Saturday, June 27, 2009

Over the past two months, I have analyzed myself rather thoroughly. What triggers me to eat or smoke, what makes me happy, what causes me to be depressed. Where does exercise really fit into my life?

I have discovered I tend to eat more when I am stressed or pushed beyond the limit of my patience. Anger is a big trigger with me. Especially when it comes to smoking. The other day I had such an experience. I was upset with a very rude neighbor in my building. Enough so, that I am sure my friend could see the steam rising right our of my ears! When I came up to my apt. and was alone, the first thing I wanted was a smoke.
Since I had "FOOLISHLY' purchase a pack last week, I grab one, lit it and took a drag. However my conscience said, emoticon don't inhale that. emoticon It tastes nasty, you don't like the taste...It messes with your sense of smell, and that smell is not pleasant!

The little guy on my other shoulder emoticon kept saying go ahead one smoke won't hurt! I tried to reason with myself. By then I was up to the third drag. That's it said my little emoticon. I put it out and stuck to a new goal I have.

Since this smoking thing is so difficult, I decided to cut myself a little slack. I will allow myself 3 drags a day....That is ALL! After the first of the month, I by some commit lozenges. Actually I am doing quit well, and I will give myself credit for that. I have no intention of becoming a smoker (who smokes 1 pack to 1 1/2 each week). I am weaning myself, but it is going to take longer than I want.

I found dieting or learning healthy living practices, and quitting smoking at the same time was very, very difficult. I AM NOT GIVING AN INCH WHEN IT COMES TO EXERCISE AND HEALTHY EATING. That is easier to work with, by all means.

I found when I am bored I definitely tend to want to eat, that also applies to smoking. If I keep very busy, I am ok. I don't think of either of my vices. Boredom, also along with many other triggers, tends to bring my depressive moods out.

I am so lucky to have Spark People and Spark Friends. Being on the computer certainly helps keep me away from cigarettes, 95% of the time at least but I will definitely work on the other 5%. Success takes work and patience. I have time for both.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WANT2BHEALTHY60 8/31/2009 4:10PM

    My brother quit by going on a cleansing fast. It really helped him. Your blogs are quite helpful. Keep it up gal!

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CATHY_G 7/12/2009 5:12PM

    Quitting smoking is so hard. My son is trying to accomplish that task right now himself. He went about a week or so while we were on a vacation, and did pretty well. Then for some reason he started up again. He has a love, hate relationship with smoking. He hates being a smoker, but loves tobacco. I think you're doing great, and are being very sensible about your approach to both smoking and weight loss. You don't have to be perfect, just keep work at it.

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SHERRY822 7/3/2009 12:02PM

    This journey is about so much more than just the food. It's about learning about ourselves and challenging ourselves, and meeting those challenges. You a have learned so much since you have been here. You will continue to learn more as time goes by. You are a strong determined person, who knows what your goals are. You have begun to accomplish reaching the first goal you set, now work on the other one. YOU CAN DO IT ! ! My mom quit cold turkey. When she wanted a cigarette, she put the cost of one cigarette in a jar she had sitting on her table, instead. She didn't smoke though. The savings were a big motivation to quit (that was when they went to $2 a pack). She would use that money every month to buy something she wanted, but couldn't afford, like getting her hair done, or buying a new outfit. She has been smoke-free for about 10 years now. She still rewards herself, too.

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MARGOMCP 6/28/2009 3:35PM

    I applaud your effort! My husband won't even try because he doesn't think he can do it. Good luck; I'll check on you Wednesday :-) and thereafter. Come here and yell instead of smoke? "Cuss" on my SparkPage, I don't mind :-) Get a emoticon "cussing" string going, LOL.

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SOUPGAL 6/27/2009 11:19PM

    Talking to yourself is a good thing. If you can step back for just a moment, you usually won't go ahead with the wrong move. I quit smoking 12 years ago. I used the patch and God's help. I really liked smoking and never really wanted to quit but then after reading the Bible and being convicted of some things I knew I had to let it go. You are doing quite well.

Soupgal emoticon

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LINDIEMAE 6/27/2009 5:50PM

    YOU WILL DO FINE, BECAUSE YOU ARE ANALYSING YOURSELF, BUT DON'T OVER DO IT, REMEMBER WE ARE ALL IMPERFECT AND FALL SHORT OF THE MARK - THAT BEING SAID, I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM, BEING ONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE. IT IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH TO CREATE NEW HEALTHY HABBITS AND LET GO OF THE UNHEALTHY FOR OUR FOOD AND EXERCISE AND THEN TO QUIT SMOKING AS WELL. WEINING YOURSELF IS GOOD TOO. JUST LIKE YOU NEVER GAINED THE WEIGHT ALL AT ONCE, YOUR SMOKING DID NOT START ALL AT ONCE. PERSONALLY I USED THE PATCH, AND TOOK MY TIME, AND TOOK AS LONG AS I NEEDED. WHEN I STARTED TO FORGET TO PUT IT ON, I KNEW I WAS READY TO GO WITHOUT, THAT TOOK ABOUT 6 MONTHS... BUT I HAVE BEEN THAT WAY EVER SINCE... JUST LIKE THIS JOURNEY, WE HAVE TO FIND OUR OWN GROOVE AND MOJO TO HELP US THROUGH... SPARK HELPS, FRIENDS AND THEIR HUGS ARE GREAT, AND THE FEELING OF SUCCESS IS AWESOME... TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME, ONE PUFF AT A TIME... YOU WILL SUCCEED !! SORRY FOR RAMBLING LOL emoticon

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3CHIHUAHUA 6/27/2009 3:55PM

    Hang in there, The hardest part has got to be behind you. You have made it two months. That's fantastic. Just think about the longer life you are going to have now that you are not smoking.

Together we can do this

Meri
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