Saturday, June 27, 2009
I went shopping with s.i.l. yesterday. All she did was whine how fat she is at a whopping 135 lbs. I love her to death and I know she doesn't realize it but it makes me feel horrible. Then today I went looking for shorts or a skirt. Everytime I looked in the mirror I felt like a fat cow. I didn't realize how much I hate my own body. I bought shorts last year before vacation and none of them fit. My husband and I have had sex in over a year. I can't help but think that it's because of my weight gain. He says he still finds me sexy but he never does anything to show it. He buys stuff for me but that's not what I need. I know he loves me but I hate the way I look. I have nerve damage and it hurts tremendously when I excercies. Hell it hurts when I do anything. I am just going to makes sure I take enough meds and push through.