Thursday, June 25, 2009
THE BAD: I binged last night. It was pretty bad. In the past, my binges have been very frantic and out of control. Lately (and I have binged once a week for the past three weeks straight), I feel like I am almost "choosing" to binge. The pattern of binging, feeling bad, and recovering from the binge is so familiar that it is almost comforting. The idea of NOT binging, of dealing with the feelings that make me want to binge in another way, is NOT familiar, and therefore, not comforting. I feel like I'm really getting to the bottom of the issue, but I still haven't stopped the behavior.
THE GOOD: I got up today, and I went for a run, achy belly and all. Then I did my usual circuit/sculpt class at the gym. Because in this battle between the binge eater and the healthy runner, the binge eater does NOT win. She just doesn't. The binge eater may have won last night, but the strong, healthy woman in me fought back this morning. I'll keep fighting those demons, and I will settle the score.