You take the good, you take the bad.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

THE BAD: I binged last night. It was pretty bad. In the past, my binges have been very frantic and out of control. Lately (and I have binged once a week for the past three weeks straight), I feel like I am almost "choosing" to binge. The pattern of binging, feeling bad, and recovering from the binge is so familiar that it is almost comforting. The idea of NOT binging, of dealing with the feelings that make me want to binge in another way, is NOT familiar, and therefore, not comforting. I feel like I'm really getting to the bottom of the issue, but I still haven't stopped the behavior.

THE GOOD: I got up today, and I went for a run, achy belly and all. Then I did my usual circuit/sculpt class at the gym. Because in this battle between the binge eater and the healthy runner, the binge eater does NOT win. She just doesn't. The binge eater may have won last night, but the strong, healthy woman in me fought back this morning. I'll keep fighting those demons, and I will settle the score.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Just don't ever, EVER give up.

    I binged last night, too. I was up too late (which is always the first step). I was watching a TV show on Hulu (which is also a trigger - this is why I refuse to pay for cable - I eat in front of the TV).

    So I ate a bunch of baby carrots, raw broccoli, celery, and 2 cups of salsa. I keep these things in the fridge for such emergencies.

    I have to be careful, though, because baby carrots are a "gateway vegetable" and can lead to the harder stuff that contains carbs and fat.
    Much more disturbing than the TYPE of food eaten is the PATTERN of the eating. And that has to be handled.

    I know why I did it this time. I had been planning a trip to WY with a friend at the end of July but she didn't get back to me about whether she could go in time for me to get a decent plane fare. And there is no lodging left anywhere near where we wanted to go. So we had to scrap the trip. And I was disappointed. So I ate.

    Did I feel better after eating? A little bit, yes.

    Do I feel better about the trip now, that I've gained a pound? Not really.

    Am I relieved that it was nothing worse than veggies and salsa? Definitely.

    Am I going to think twice before engaging in this behavior again? I truly hope so.
    3159 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/25/2009 11:14:25 AM
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