Tuesday, June 16, 2009
There is nothing worse than having bits and pieces of your life fall apart and then instead of losing weight find out you've added another 20 pounds and NONE of your summer clothes fit! Then on top of that your daughter is graduating high school AND has broken up with her boyfriend of 10 months and is disintegrating right before your eyes! AND to and the cherry on top of all this misery the neurologist informs you that there's no nerve issues causing the numbness and pins and needles in your fingers and hand and go back to your doctor. Idiot doesn't get within 10 feet and doesn't even do a physical check of the hand yet says it maybe tendinitis but go to your doctor and find out!
I joined Sparks in late November. Did really well until just before Christmas when I had a MAJOR reaction to Cymbalta. OF course my reaction can't be a NORMAL one. Ohhh nooooo! Mine wasn't even listed! Ended up with super swollen feet. Turns out my blood vessels would close and not open properly to allow the blood to circulate. Ended up having to have my feet raised above my heart for 5 days. There goes the exercising and of course I never got back on track!
Then I hit the doldrums. This time I was smart. Decided to crochet instead of reading! Made two afghans for my couch and love seat in 3 weeks, Started another one and my pinkie and ring finger on my left hand including half the palm went numb, times pins and needles or extreme pain. Stopped crocheting until the EMG in late March. No nerve damage. Neurologist was a**! Said it maybe tendinitis and go back to my doctor. Didn't physically check the hand and give the diagnosis. Oh nooo that would have meant actually touching me!
Since then I have finished two afghans and almost have two more done! And NO I haven't been back to the doctor and YES still having problems with the hand. Figure since I have fibro and it's been progressive and aggressive the last few years it's just ONE MORE THING TO ADD TO THE LIST OF MYSTERIOUS THINGS THAT HAVE GONE WRONG!!!!!!!!!
My beautiful, wonderful, happy daughter is no more! She broke up with her boyfriend in March and has fallen apart in front of my eyes and there is NOTHING I can do! She graduated from high school June 6th and we and her party June 7th. The week before half the time I couldn't even reach her on the cell phone! She was NO help with planning or prepping for the party! In September we had planned to do all this together and when the time came she was no where to be found. Body, spirit and soul where in mourning! Finally last week I had it out with her. Asked her if torturing herself and drinking herself stupid was working for her! Also let her know that the knowing one she was punishing was herself because HER certainly didn't care or even know she was doing it! Also told her I loved her very much and would ALWAYS love her, but I didn't have to always LIKE her and at that moment in time and the weeks prior I didn't like her or what she had become!Asked her if she even liked herself or who she was becoming. She surprised me when she said NO! She's much better this week and is actually starting to put herself back together! Hopefully this is a start to a new Kelly and not just a reprieve!!!!
They increased my Neurotin last winter and I GAINED 20 pounds on top of what I already weighed! Then to top it off I'm having a MAJOR problem with water weight gain! We were getting ready to go to a number of grad parties on Saturday. I looked in the mirror and FREAKED when I saw my arms! They were HUGE!!! Then on Sunday I looked again and they had SHRUNK and yesterday they had shrunk even more! Of course my right foot is still TWICE has big as my left and I will have to wear those dang elastic stockings and it's HUMID in Minnesota!
That's just the highlights of the last 6 months! Haven't even hit the low lights! BUT I now have my head out of my *** which is a good thing and will write another blog on the low lights!