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    JULIECROWDER  
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I Feel Like Quitting

Monday, June 15, 2009

I am going through a hard time right now and feeling very over whelmed. I am feeling like there is just to much for me to do and not enough time for me to do it.
I really feel like I should give up on what I what, because I have everyone else to take care of that and I am failing miserably (both for myself and for my family).

I really don't have time for myself anymore. I am trying to fit in everything. I get up usually very early so I can exercise, then start my day of taking care of my mother (all day), doing the housework, laundry, cooking and doing things for my husband and daughter also. Plus, my son and daughter in law are having a baby due any time, and I am helping them out with everything. By the time that I get in the bed it seems like I just get to sleep and it is time to start again.

I know that I should not give up on what I need or on my dreams, but I feel that there is no other way. I am asking that if you read this that you will remember me in prayer and pray that I get through this time. God bless you!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAGNOTORIOUS 6/23/2009 6:30PM

    Julie, remember that The Creator never gives you more than you can handle, and gives the strongest the most of all. Hang in there, and don't give up or in! With the few moments before you drop off to sleep, find your spiritual place and count the blessings in your life. He has already given you the strength, focus on His guidance.

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AMANDAMASSAGE 6/16/2009 4:25PM

    I am praying for you right now as I read this. Please go and take some time for yourself. Go watch a movie or just go for a walk. I'm thinking about you......

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JESUSTRANSFORMS 6/15/2009 7:45PM

    Don't quit!! I know it is hard and it seems selfish, but the most loving thing you can do for your family is to make some time for you, even if it means saying no..set aside one hour or half hour and say this is my time....it is hard, but sometimes we have to say no...I am my mom's caregiver too (with an evergrowing list of to do's), and seven kids....THis year, I realized that I was where you are and I had to find some way to change and take care of me..I have started saying no where I can...you need to take care of you, so you can take care of others....Don't Quit!!

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PEPPERLEAH 6/15/2009 11:53AM

    Please don't give up! In order to take care of everyone else, you have to put yourself first. If you do not take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of them. It is not selfish to take care of your own needs; it is what is necessary in order to get through all we must do.

You are in my prayers.

Leah

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ERUPERTO 6/15/2009 11:42AM

    You sound just like me!

Since my sister passed I have had an awful time trying to pull myself out of this hole I am in. I have lost that motivation I had that kept me going. Trying to find it again has been so hard.

I gained weight back, and saw all that I had worked for slip away. I look at myself now, wondering WHY I had given up on myself so easily. I threw out all my good ways for bad ones, and went from good choices to horrible ones. All of which I am paying for now, trying to get back on track.

I have been doing what I can to keep my family going after my sisters passing, that I tend to not pay as much attention to myself. It is that "I HAVE to help everyone" mentality, when I am not helping the most important person....ME! Once I started to realize that not only am I hurting myself with letting myself go, I am hurting everyone around me. With my mind slipping into a dark depression, I noticed my kids hurting from it. They need their mommy to be on the same page, to be able to do what they do (at least some of it!LOL). They don't need a mom sitting on the couch in tears with a spoon and Ben & Jerry's (not the low-fat ones either). THAT WAS ME!

I sat back and asked myself what was important to me. My friends and family were number one. The I asked myself what they would want from me. And I KNEW the answer was to be HAPPY. And I also knew, happy was not what I was at that time. I was far from it.

I pretty much pick myself BACK up every Monday morning. It has been like this for weeks. Last night though, I was putting on my PJ's and just cried. I saw myself in the mirror and saw for the first time what I had let myself come back to. The person I said I would never be again.

We all make mistakes, we all get sad, we all have bad days. But one good thing...we can all start over. It is so hard trying to fight off the feelings, and tryign to find time to get to what matters most....YOURSELF! I work full-time, and I have 3 kids, a hubby and a WILD puppy. I never have the time at night for me. At home I come second. I realized that sometimes, I need to take a step back and see that I need to come first WITH them, not second after them.

You can help your family and yourself.

You may need to sit down take a breath and say this has to stop. I need to have some time for me. And then take that time. Whether it be 5 minutes or an hour. As long as you get some time, just for you. Everyday should get easier once you realize you ARE worth so much and deserve that time just as much as anyone else does.

I get the blues all the time (thank goodness for meds!), and trying toi crawl out of a rutt is something so hard to do and it takes some time too. It doesn't happen over night. Baby steps...that is all you need to start with.

In the end, you will realize you are worth so much and you deserve to be yourself, and get that time to devote to you and you alone.

YOU CAN DO THIS....YOU WILL DO THIS....

ONE STEP AT A TIME!

We are always here to support you. When you are down we will try to lift you up! When you are up, we will take you higher!

You are on my mind and in my emoticon

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MCLYMORE 6/15/2009 11:23AM

    I am praying right not that God will richly bless you and give you the strength you need to endure these trying times you are going through now. One thing I know is troubles donít last always, we just have to break our way through to the other side and that is possible with God. I canít even say I fully understand what you are going through, because I have not been there. However, I do know what it is to care for other people and you lose yourself in the process. The fact is: ďGiving up is not an optionĒ So as mentioned before, donít even think about it. You have to take time for yourself, even if itís just a little bit at a time. Eventually it will get better, I donít know in what time frame, but it will.

Again, I pray for you and your family. You have made great accomplishments already, everybody cannot take on the responsibilities you have and that is special. You are needed, you are special, you are important, I know it, you know, your family knows it, and God does too. Keep your head up, keep the faith and you will have victory!

God Bless You My Friend!

Julynn


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RAMONAFAY 6/15/2009 11:01AM

  emoticon Don't even think about it! If you do give up now one day you will wake up and feel empty! Your giving and giving--and not getting anything back and with out realizing it your becoming empty. I have been there and done that.

I am not saying don't take care of your mother and the rest of your family--of course you are going to do that! But seriously you deserve to take care of your self too!

I am on freedom from codependence team--go to my page and click on that team and read some of the posts--it might help you. I am not saying that you are codepent I am just saying it might help you if you read some of the post.

It's so easy to lose yourself because you are so busy helping everybody else!
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DEDICATED2ME 6/15/2009 10:59AM

    Please do not quit. I will add you to my prayers, my dear.

Have you thought of joining a caregivers support group in your area? Meeting just once a week or every two weeks, or heck, even once a month with people who are going through what you are going through could be very helpful and keep you focused and motivated.

You are very important to many people but most importantly you need to be important to yourself. Taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do. It's not selfish...it's helpful.

Praying, praying, praying for you.

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ANNAGM1 6/15/2009 10:47AM

    I know exactly how you feel. It is as if you are drowning in others. That is how I feel. Some days I really wonder how I fit everything into the day. I take care of my parents, my hubby has health issues as well as I do, and my brother lives with us, and we just had twin grandsons so I was in Colorado for a month to rest. Believe it or not, I got up at 6:30 every morning and was up all day taking care of the other 4 grandkids and by the time they went to bed I was exhausted but at least I felt like I got rest. Here at home I don't feel like I get must rest.

But if you can try to hang in there at least a little. That is what I am trying to do. Just a little bit each day. A little is better then none at all. I will pray for you. Hang in there.

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GLORYLIGHT57 6/15/2009 10:21AM

    I feel like quitting sometimes, too! However, I also feel like I can do this and quitting is not an option! I will keep you in my prayers; as I pray that both of us continue on this journey and become the healthy, happy ladies, God intended us to be. We can do this...One step at a time!!!

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LADYRINO 6/15/2009 10:13AM

    I hear you loud and clear. Do not quit. You are worth it. There is a rule in the first responders world that you must take care of you before you can take care of others. If you go down - you can not help others. Take a moment and breathe. Even the airlines say to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others. Do not stop your oxygen. Your son and daughter-in-law will be fine not having EVERYTHING done for them. What are they going to do when the baby comes - it is their child to parent. Your husband and daughter should be able to fend for themselves for 60 minutes a day. In that 60 minutes - take 30 to relax and meditate. The other 30 minutes is for your exercise - even if just a walk alone. You can not give to others if your well is dry.

It is amazing what 60 minutes can do. I take at least that much time a day for me and it is amazing what things the family is able to fill in on without my personal stamp on it.

Please do not quit on you. I think you are worth it.

Comment edited on: 6/15/2009 10:15:15 AM

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