Thursday, July 13, 2006
333: And another one gone!
I made it to the gym! God I missed that place. I had to cram an entire hour long workout into about 30 minutes, so that I could make it back to pick up my daughters. Luckily I caught the gym at just the right time, just after the post work people get to the gym. It is a ghost town there after 7:00 (I have to make a note of that for later. I guess I already am if I'm writing this). Even then I walked in with my game face on and went from machine to machine with a purpose. I won't work that fast again, if I can avoid it. This phase of my workouts are heavy weights, as in 45%-66% of my current body weight and my legs are pressing more than my body weight. I'm sure I'll tear something if I work that heavy too fast. The workout went great otherwise, and I'm not as sore as I thought I'd be. No Advil needed. The body is adjusting to the load. Life is good.
I promised myself that I would journal everything on this weight loss journey, even if it wasn't flattering. And this is one of those times. I also caught myself snacking yesterday. "Now, how do you catch yourself snacking?", you might ask. You're right there. Couldn't you have "stopped" yourself from snacking? I should have stopped myself, very true. Here's the deal: At home, I have a good set up. I don't snack out of control. At work, I have great snacks (Fruit, yogurt, popcorn. I'm all set) I have a 25 mile commute to/from work. In the commute home, I kind of go on auto pilot. When you travel the same roads for years, you develop habits that need to be broken.
Personally, I blame these habits on fatter me. The thinner me has set up both sides of my commute with healthy foods, large pitchers of water and as few snacks as possible. Fatter me knows where almost every burger, oriental, mexican and chicken place is along my commute and is ready to guide me to food anywhere in San Diego. Unfortunately, fatter me has been driving a lot lately and after going on auto-pilot to pick up a couple of chili dogs on the way home from work, I sat there and said out loud to myself, "Why are you eating this?" I wasn't hungry at all. I realized what had happened. I am still very human. I still make mistakes and have the power to correct those mistakes. There are still habits I have to break if I'm going to drop this weight.
I promise I won't flog myself too much for these mistakes. A professor of mine used to say, "When water is muddy, you can't see if anything is wrong. But as the mud settles to the bottom, things hidden by the mud will appear." This discovery of my commute binge habit would not have been so identifiable, if I hadn't started changing my other habits. The mud is starting to settle and here is a big rock that needs to be removed. So today, I'm popping a bag of popcorn before I head home. If I'm going to snack, I'll have that. Anyway, I'll check back in later.