Monday, June 01, 2009
Well after almost a year or more bitter betty pout and self-pity party of one... I have decided to commit to conscious thoughts on eating and fitness. I stumble/fall/get back up. Fall more than I succeed but I think I have had some lightbulb's go off lately and with that momentum I am dusting off the old lifestyle change motivation train and getting back in the game. I still don't believe that I am going to do it or can be successful at it but I am going to do it anyway. I am going to "go through the motions", I am going to "show up" and maybe just maybe my feelings and confidence will follow. For now, a brief hello to all of my loyal followers. Ha!. I just logged in my food diary for the day and left myself a note. I don't know what program I am going to follow other than just eating consciously and trying to weave more activity into my day. And day by day, step by step, even if I don't see one shred of success, I am going to commit to health and fitness and show up anyway. My powerful reasons why. I don't want to be at this weight the rest of my life, I want to be healthy and trim and fit. I want to be there my daughters because they deserve me...weddings, and grandchildren and all the good stuff. I want to be plugged in. I want to get back into life as I have checked out for years now. For me, because I'm worth. Learning to put myself first one step at a time (super hard for me). I am going to get appropriately selfish if its the last thing I do. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one step at a time. Show up. Don't overthink it. Just do it.
Today is the first day that I am back to trying to consciously eat. I substituted 1 oz. of Monavie Active for my steel cut oats instead of using my normal 2% milk and honey. I am committed to a sugar fast for 90 days. I passed up a sugary dessert at lunch. I am trying to ask myself every meal. Is this nutritious, am I hungry? I read labels and was very careful what I put into my mouth today. I parked far away from the door. I learned something new about nibbling. I found out that the normal pudding cups are better than the fat/sugar free ones. The normal ones have all ingredients that you can read and the fat/sugar free ones have hydrogenated oil in them and the other list is what you can't read. I would have bought the fat/sugar free one but its actually the worse choice of the two.