Saturday, May 30, 2009
A couple people who responded to my 5/23/09 blog, where I shared my frustration over a "friend" who seemed to have a problem with my wanting to eat differently, asked me to update them as to how things were going.
Unfortunately, there is nothing much to write home about here. Two weeks passed and I finally called her. First time, she hung up on me before I could barely say hi and ask if we could get together and talk.
I called back and tried again and her response was that she had never been so embarrassed in her entire life and that my not tasting all the goodies that people had brought and my turning down the cake was an attempt on my part to ruin her gathering...that I had insulted her and her guests by not eating more. Her whole point was that I somehow, my limiting what and how much I ate was deliberate and intentional and aimed at slamming her.
Well, I'll admit, I had racked my brain trying to figure out why she was upset with me but this idea never crossed my mind. It really threw me and I wasn't sure how to respond. I realized that she'd not really heard or understood anything that I had previously told her about why I joined SP and my need and desire to get healthy again and put some balance, order and wellness into my life. I knew that anything I tried to say to her at that point would only make the situation worse.
So, I simply told her that I was sorry that she felt my eating habits were intended to make her look bad in front of others and that this was not my inten. She said she didn't want to hear any explanation because she just didn't believe me and that I was a terrible friend.
WHOA! that came as a surprise! I decided to just bring our conversation to a close and it was going downhill. I apologized again for embarrassing her and then pointed out that sinnce we obviously didn't see eye to eye on this and that she was convinced I was out to get her regardless of what I said, that maybe she should find a friend that was more compatible. I told her I was saddened about the whole thing but that I needed to step away and would not be calling her again.
We've only known each other for several months so I really think this is in the best interest of both of us. She is really paranoid about this and from the stories of her past girlfriends and the arguments they had, I'm beginning to think this is a pattern for her. I feel sorry for her and if she does call and wants to talk I will talk with her but I think it's better if I keep a little distance. Whatever happens, she is in my prayers.
Do you think I'm doing the right thing here? Anyone have any other suggestions?