I don't know about you, but I have made it a point to tell all I know that I have turned my life in the direction of wellness and this includes healthy eating. Despite this, I have one "friend" who insists on putting things on my plate (in the presence of others) and telling me to just "try it." The first time she did this, I tasted the item and told her it was quite good but that I would forgo the rest as I knew it was high in calories and sodium and fat and that with what I was currently eating, I would have already consumed my daily nutritional limits. After dinner, I politely and confidentially asked her NOT to put food on my plate again, that it made me uncomfortable especially around others and that I needed her help to reach my nutritional and weight goals. She didn't really respond verbally but I was certain she got my message.
The second time she put food on my plate, I smiled and didn't eat it and then she made an issue of saying (in front of everyone), "Now Gina, you know it's a sin to waste food so you need to clean your plate!" I smiled again but ignored her suggestion to eat the item. Again, I spoke with her privately and politely, and this time more firmly, that I didn't appreciate her ignoring my request to not put food on my plate and then I again told her I needed her support and was very serious about this. I went on to say that if she attempted to sabotage my efforts again, whether privately or publicly, that I would simply get up and leave her home. I told her that in the future, she was not to do that again.
OK, today was strike three. This was a large gathering of women, many of whom I knew, at a bridal shower...her daughter's. Right there, she kept singling me out (it was a buffet) and asking me if I wanted this or that and doing so out loud. She was at the buffet table. I had already gone through the line and was sitting down to eat. She kept making a saddened face and taking deep sighs with each "no, thank you" I gave her...to the ham salad spread ( I took the sliced turkey), the 8 layered vegetable casserole (loaded with mayo), the potato salad, the rigatoni and the pastries and finally the cake she was cutting.
Despite my turning down these items, after she finished cutting the cake and the rest of the group had received their pieces, she came over to me holding a dessert plate with a very large slice of cake and announced that I "had to eat it" as she had cut it specifically for me. She proceeded to place this dessert plate of cake on top of the dinner plate from which I was still eating (fork was in my hand); she put the plate right on the food that was still there thus preventing me from finishing my meal.
I was livid inside but kept my mouth shut. I looked at her and sadly shook my head, got up and excused myself to the bride to be and left the party.
Another friend told me she is very upset with me and that I should have just eaten the cake and not embarrassed this woman as she was the hostess. I'm sorry she's upset but I feel that my actions were justified. I had more than adequately made my position known to her and she blatantly ignored my request. I had told her what I would do but she persisted. She had embarrassed me by her actions...by making a public scene...over and over again, and in a rather audible voice, by asking if I wanted the very things I had skipped over when I went through the buffet line. Her final point of drama, putting the plate on top of the very food I was eating, was the last straw for me. From my point of view, it was she who showed no respect for my wishes. Wouldn't you agree? Funny thing, she is someone who has suggested on occasion that I lose weight!
What would you have done if you were me? How would you deal with her in when you meet again?