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    BOILERINAZ   43,687
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OMG WHAT WAS I THINKING????

Thursday, May 21, 2009

**GULP**

I've got my first full marathon on May 31st in San Diego in 10 days. My nerves are starting to set in. I've been training since my half marathon in January for this race. All of a sudden I'm thinking I didn't run enough, I didn't train the right way, I shouldn't have cut back on weight training, my food isn't right....all sorts of crazy things!

Today is my last day of any lengthy miles I did 6.25 before work and will do 2-3 this evening. Then a 5K saturday to help get the legs turning then it's a couple 4 miles jogs next week and I'll probably do a short run the fri before the race...I've cut back my calories a bit this week (since not working out so much) and have planned to start inching up the carbs and fluids next wed til the race...I am following a plan...but somehow the doubts are STILL creeping in.

I KNOW I'm ready, the hotel is booked, the weekend is planned out...but these darn nerves. I want to get out and run to fight them down but that's the last thing I need is to tire out my legs. I fidget at work, am distracted when w/friends, all thoughts gravitate towards the race. I've suffered through mood swings, being so tired I can't focus, getting up at 3:30am to run all for this marathon. I was so sure I could do it...why are the doubts coming NOW????

I know when I get to that sunday morning I'll be ok but it's the getting there that's dragging by. I wish it were tomorrow and I could be done with it. The tapering on the running schedule makes me feel like I'm not doing enough even though it's exactly what I should be doing!

Yesterday I ran 3 miles and I struggled the whole run and all I was thinking was OMG WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO the race is 26.2!!! then this morning I had a solid 6.25 run at race pace and it all felt better...except I kept freaking out about the day before and the crappy run that way.

I'm just blabbering - trying to get out nervous energy...trying to convince my brain what my body knows...I'm ready...I didn't die on the 20 mile run I'm going to make the whole 26.2 miles...despite all the doubts and nerves...I know I can do this - I CAN do ANYTHING I want...I've come this far...no turning back now!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WESTWIND19 8/1/2009 11:04AM

    You sound exactly as I did a couple weeks before my triathlon relay. I had the biking leg and two weeks out I did a cold trial run and did well. There was only one hill I could get up. One week out I drive the route for the first time and started having a mini panic attack thinking I couldn't do it, but my team mates said "HELLO- Wake Up, you just road the entire route last weekend and did fine. You have already done it; just do it again." And I thought to myself.....I did already do it. So I did some hill drill on the hill from hell and I did Superbly in the race cutting 15 min off my cold trial run! :) I am glad to hear I am not the only one who has self doubt.
:) CONGRATS!!!

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ABBIEJENSEN 5/26/2009 11:18AM

    YOU CAN DO THIS! YES YOU CAN!! I cannot wait to read your race report!

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TUNI212 5/24/2009 1:20PM

    If there is one person that I'm completely NOT worried about being prepared, it's you! I do understand the nerves - and that you have trained, eaten and mentally prepared exactly that way you were supposed to to nail this race. Don't let the taper madness get to you. We're all behind you!

Michelle

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SYNCHRODAD 5/22/2009 8:20PM

    You are so funny! I feel like I am listening/reading a "You are there." My heart rate was up and I was worried too by the time I finished reading. I can hardly wait for your race story. Much good luck!

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GLOBALKEEWEE 5/22/2009 11:17AM

    Well, you took any ammo I had for a pep talk and already gave it to yourself. All I can say then is YOU KNOW YOU'RE READY!

Once you get to the real deal all the nerves will evaporate with the "I'm doing it!" thoughts - just keep down your pace in the first 10 miles to what you planned...don't succumb to that adrenaline-fueled 'this is easier than I thought, I can keep this higher pace' trap!!

You're already a marathoner. You just haven't done one yet.

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