Friday, May 15, 2009
I had a few setbacks yesterday and today. I binged at work last night (beginning to admit to myself that my job can be very boring, but have not found a way to deal with this yet) and also today, after an OA meeting. (I guess not wanting to share about binging last night built up inside me).
However, today I spent ALOT of time on Spark just reading motivational articles, posting to the message boards venting my frustration, and completing all the starter kit stuff that I neglected to do when I first signed up on here. (I think initially it scared me a bit because I was making a commitment, and commitments sometimes scare me because I'm scared of failure.)
Anyway, I am back on the horse, remembering that I really do have to take this one day at a time and I can't get frustrated with myself for compulsively eating for a few days...I am getting over an eating disorder...it happens.
Some positive things I did do today
-Wrote in my journal and finished week 4 of the Artist's Way
-Went to and OA meeting
-Made outreach calls and wrote a quick blurb about what I was feeling before I ate, eventhough I ate anyway
-FINALLY made my vegetable juice! :)
I am trying to work up the motivation to do a little light excersize before going out tonight....I feel like I would be cheating myself if I don't. H0wever it's getting late so if I'm going to do it I better get going. I think I'm going to do a walking workout tonight...I need to listen to my body and not push it too hard.
-I am also committing to filling in the entries of Day 4 and Day 5 in my succsess journal before I go to bed tonight. I am NOT giving up on myself...this is a life change I am adopting one day at a time, not a crash diet or quick fix.
I love myself, I trust myself, and God will continue to Gaurd me and Guide me this week through my journey. May he give me the courage to abstain from overeating at work, and help me find a solution to my boredom at my job.
(By the way God, just because I'm bored there does not mean I'm not incredibly greatful that I HAVE a job in this current economy. I thankyou very much for blessing me with employment, but I know I also need courage to change if this job is not right for me.)
I love you,