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My Dreams Are Staying,I'm Not Gonna Give In...


Friday, April 24, 2009

It's been a very long time since I last wrote here,I was sooooo busy,things were just out of control.I had a project at school,it was robot dog.It took me days to design one that I like and make a model of it.With other homeworks going on I had very hard time finishing it.On Wednesday we presented our projects to our teachers.They were so mean,critizing every little detail.They told me that my dog looked cute and that they didn't want that.It was a bulldog and they said it should have looked very scary and ugly.Well I wanted it to be cute for kids,a child would want a toy that doesn't scare him/her.I tried to explain my reasons but they didn't give me the chance.I was so frustrated,when I got home I threw away my model. Also I had to drop one of my lessons this week.I was having a very difficult time with the teacher and with the lesson.At last I thought to myself why should I bother when I knew that I'm gonna fail at that lesson anyway.I can take it next year from another teacher.I was so tired of trying so hard to be good at everything.So there went the computer aided design...

I was trying to eat healthier and do more exercise but I just couldn't.I didn't have time for anything and I felt depressed all the time.Yesterday was a national holiday in my country.So we have two day off.I was very happy that I could relax but it's just not my luck.So here is what's happening...We have two evil aunts,sisters of my father,they always want us (me and my two sisters) to suck at everything.They only love money and theirselves.They critize our looks,thought,future jobs.And when it comes to injustice I can't shut my mouth,I always talk back.They hate being told the truth about them to their faces so they hate me the most.And my grandfather's sister is also the devil itself.The thing is they are all coming to spend a night or two at our house today.It's very weird because we are nowhere being close,we fight all the time,we don't even see each other.I'm thinking that they are gonna talk about money and the properties that our grandparents left us.We already gave them more than enough, but still they want more.I don't understand why money means so much to them.We prepared a lot of foods and cleaned the house like 5 times but I know that they are not going to be pleased about anything.I hope there won't be a huge fight.I'm thinking to lock myself in my room and read the last book of Twilight series.I hope that will calm me down.

Last week I decided to write a book,I started and finished the first chapter.I feel so good when I write things but I was so scared to write an actual book.But I'm trying new things lately and a book seems a good way to start.Also I'm writing two new songs and improving my guitar and piano skills,I hope I can take lessons one day.I have a month of school left and I have big plans for the summer.I'm just gonna try to be the real me,doing things that I like.I'm gonna finish this book and try to publish it.I'm just gonna keep dreaming and try everything to make them real.I don't want to give up and let my life slip away from my hands.I don't want other people to decide who I am and what I can do.I'm fighting in this war and I'm not gonna give in...

So with my new hopes and dreams I thank you all for your support.I can't wait to hear your thoughts about all these.I wish you are doing great and having a beautiful Friday. emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MANYPOUNDSTOGO 4/24/2009 5:32PM

    I am sorry! Your teachers sound very critical over everything. Even being an adult I would not want a scary robot dog! I would want a cute one. i hope tings work out with your relatives. I have some evil ones in my family too. I stay away from them as much as I can. I think it is AWESOME about the book and the songs. I wish you the best. I would love to say "I know the writer" hehehe

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BEL_RIOSE 4/24/2009 11:10AM

    emoticon I'm sorry you were having such a hard time! I think the robot dog sounds awesome! (why would they even want it to be scary psha) Every one slips up and goes through a short period of time where they just feel like they can't, but push through it and you can get right back on track. Good luck!

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BEL_RIOSE 4/24/2009 11:10AM

    emoticon I'm sorry you were having such a hard time! I think the robot dog sounds awesome! (why would they even want it to be scary psha) Every one slips up and goes through a short period of time where they just feel like they can't, but push through it and you can get right back on track. Good luck!

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MEALOHAOE 4/24/2009 10:28AM

    Hang in there, hon. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is ever worth the pain they inflict. I don't know enough about your situation to give a lot of advice. so, all I can say, is hang in there. In my experience, life travels in circles. Right now it sounds like you're at the low arc of the circle. The most you can do is take what joys you find and wait itout until you cycle up.

My best wishes to you.

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TAROTGARDEN 4/24/2009 9:50AM

    I was hoping that after your last blog, that maybe you had a chance of seeing your recent spate of problems begin to diminish. I'm sorry to learn otherwise.

As for your school project: while I'm a firm believer in the importance of education, and how much there is to be gained from it, I'd be the first to acknowledge that sometimes, it's hard to understand just exactly what is running through an instructor's mind. Some teachers are unquestionably better (or worse) than others. I eventually learned that once you identify the ones that have agendas other than providing the best education for students that they can (and not listening is a big identifier of that tendency), you have to switch strategies from trying to learn and better your knowledge to deciphering what the instructor wants and simply playing his or her game. It's sad when that has to happen, but these days, I try to take a "big picture" view of that sort of thing. There's always obstacles to go around in order to reach the real goal.

Your family situation remains another matter. You've got enough on your plate without having to worry about all the high-level negativity around you. You're at a time in your life where you should be free to explore your options and find your path. And I know that can't happen when you've got people tearing you and the world around you down all the time. So I have to ask: do you have no options for removing yourself from that environment? You're over 18, and an adult, right? I know that being in school, money may be very tight for you, so I understand that it may be difficult to strike out on your own at this point. But it's been done before; if you have counseling resources available at your school, you may want to take advantage of them to discuss your problem. They may be aware of options that you didn't know about in regards to housing and financial support.

As always, I wish you the best of luck. Keep up with the writing and the music; not only will the creative outlet provide you with some measure of comfort and accomplishment, but you will always have the results of your efforts to treasure.

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-- Jeannette

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BOYSMOM9698 4/24/2009 9:12AM

    I'm sorry you have been having trouble with some of your teachers and family. It can be so hard when people are trying to drag you down, but you have the right attitude. Hold onto your own values and dreams and don't let them drag you down!

Laura

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