Thursday, April 23, 2009
My birthday is in the spring and the Bahai New Year starts in March. The Spring months are my energy months. I have a need to correct all the bad things that I "let go" or was too depressed to do in the last three months. And it is sad because my husband is still in that "funk" and there is nothing I can say to make any difference. I'm better off not saying nothing. It seems to have become "mine" and "yours" more than "ours"...I'm not quite sure how to change that part of my life.
But I can change MY LIFE and my way of thinking. He says we don't communicate, I tend to agree. In fact, I agree with a lot of things I don't, just to make him happy.
I'm having a hard time with the way the roles have reversed in my life. He is the one that stays home and takes care of everything (more or less) but when I try to help and clean up and put things away...I get told to leave things alone. I'm left going to my work and paying the bills.
Been reading a lot of books about menopause/the second half of life...I wish that I had a household stressfree. Never...I can't see it happening. I've got to figure out a way to make my own peace with the way my life has turned out.
So I am working on my re-birth. Thanks for letting me vent. There will be more blogs in the future.