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    NIKKI612   13,747
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Mixed feeling????

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

So without looking in this economy I have gotten a full time job. I should be really excited right? Well I'm having a really hard time with it. When my youngest was 6 months old I bought a flower shop. Since then he has been with me at work and home. In June I had my second baby and have not been away from him full time ever. This job is going to make our financial situation A LOT better, but i am so sad. Charlie is 10 months old and he is just now going to start doing a lot of new stuff. I know I am going to miss out. In Aug. we closed my flower shop because of the economy and I have been with my boys since. I feel like my heart is ripping in half. I have always been the type of person who liked to work, but being home with my kids has been one of the best things I have ever done. I just wish this didn't hurt so bad.

On the flip side I will be managing a floral dept. in a local grocery store. I will get to do something I am good at and like. That shoul be enough right? I will also be receiving good benefits, which for us right now is huge. I just need to convince myself that this is the best thing for all of us.

In the last months at home I have also gotten into a work out routine. I am just afraid my guilt from not being with my kids will make it really hard for me to fit in working out. I have also decided to try and become a personal trainer. I got Zumba certified a month ago and have been working on routine I could teach since. I think I am going to try to keep these goals. If I can do Zumba and personal training I could work my schedule around my kids. That would be ideal. I just need to stay on task and keep motivated.

I feel better now that I vented. Hopefully I will not be a basket case for the next couple of weeks till I start my new job.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THIN4HIM5 4/21/2009 3:47PM

    I can totally relate. I have been home with my children at least part-time now for 10 years & full-time for the last 6 years. My baby is almost 3yrs old & just a few weeks ago a job (part-time although full time was an option and will still be in the fall) just fell in my lap. I feel bad about it in some ways because I too was not looking & with the economy the way it is & many people applying for few jobs it just does not seem right. I decided to take it as I really prayed about it and know that this is what I am supposed to do at this time.
Your little ones will do just fine & the benefits you will have will be very helpful for your family. How will your hours be? The great thing is that you will be doing something that you are good at as well as something that you enjoy. This makes a huge difference.
You will all be okay. Hang in there! You can try it out & if you still don't feel right about it~ What is keeping you there? You can always quit if you feel that it just is not right for you & your family.
I wish you all the best!
Hugs & Blessings,
Wendy emoticon

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