Tuesday, April 21, 2009
So without looking in this economy I have gotten a full time job. I should be really excited right? Well I'm having a really hard time with it. When my youngest was 6 months old I bought a flower shop. Since then he has been with me at work and home. In June I had my second baby and have not been away from him full time ever. This job is going to make our financial situation A LOT better, but i am so sad. Charlie is 10 months old and he is just now going to start doing a lot of new stuff. I know I am going to miss out. In Aug. we closed my flower shop because of the economy and I have been with my boys since. I feel like my heart is ripping in half. I have always been the type of person who liked to work, but being home with my kids has been one of the best things I have ever done. I just wish this didn't hurt so bad.
On the flip side I will be managing a floral dept. in a local grocery store. I will get to do something I am good at and like. That shoul be enough right? I will also be receiving good benefits, which for us right now is huge. I just need to convince myself that this is the best thing for all of us.
In the last months at home I have also gotten into a work out routine. I am just afraid my guilt from not being with my kids will make it really hard for me to fit in working out. I have also decided to try and become a personal trainer. I got Zumba certified a month ago and have been working on routine I could teach since. I think I am going to try to keep these goals. If I can do Zumba and personal training I could work my schedule around my kids. That would be ideal. I just need to stay on task and keep motivated.
I feel better now that I vented. Hopefully I will not be a basket case for the next couple of weeks till I start my new job.