My First Doctors Appointment.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
I met my doctor (female) and the intern (male) in the exam room and instantly told them that I did not want to perform the pap at that moment and instead wanted to go over my reasons, concerns, risk and get more information before setting a later date to do the exam. The intern put me on edge. Everything I said was followed by eye rolling, walking in a circle in places, grunting, sighing out loud and scuffing (little laughs?) at all my questions, reasons, and such. I instantly became defensive after about the first 5 minutes.
We compared my risk of getting the pap done at this time vs getting it done later and what would happen if anything should occur from either one. From my stand point, it would have been best to get it done at 32 weeks or even after I gave birth because in their worse case, they still would not treat me until after the baby was born. From the hospitals stand point, even though they can’t/won’t treat me until after birth, they would just like to know before hand for “our peace of mind”. For me, this wasn’t enough to convince me to go ahead with the pap at that time. I agreed to getting a pelvic exam to test for STD’s and infection and stated that I would want another one done later on before birth.
Apparently this wasn’t enough for them. She left with the intern, came back and informed me that from the “Hospitals and staffs view” my refusal to get a pap would be documented and noted and from where they stand they feel that I do not care for myself or my current children and now worry if I take my prenatal care seriously. I was informed that refusing the pap and any other routines, procedures and treatments would be noted and that it’s also marked as a concern for not only my health but the health of my unborn baby and they are now worried if I’m capable of “harming” my children. They added in something about not believing that I would be returning for prenatal care and medical care for myself and my children and that it would be “neglect”.
I simply smiled and said that I understood that my refusal to do a pap would result in such a thing and was prepared for it but I would still not be getting my pap done at that moment and then continued on with my other concerns/questions.
I left not upset. It was a typical visit at this place and I was use to it. I was happy to have handled it so well, to not cry or have an attack. But, once I got home things changed. I wrote it all out and realized that they were mocking me, using scare tatics, threats, mental and emotional abuse to get me to go their way and I went for it. (I signed up to have the pap done at 24 weeks instead of later on and I also got blood work done.)
I don’t want to fight but I don’t want to be bullied and threatened (and have my family threatened) because my beliefs don’t fit theirs and their hospital policy. They told me I could go else where but would have to pay out of pocket which I can't afford at all and have already tried to do.
My Dh is sooo pissed about the whole mess and me, I’m just trying to cope with it all so that I don’t fall back into full PTSD. Last night I was up with nothing but nightmares of what happened last time and I don’t want to deal with that or anything else again. All of this because I choose not to get a pap that day and wanted to wait.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
those people suck! Oooohhh. Your blog made me soo mad i could spit. I definitely would not deal with people like that if I could get out of it. I am an RN and I promise you CAN find people who aren't such jerks and understand that what you are doing IS in the best interest of your children if that is how you feel about it. You have a brain and you know how to use it and don't deserve to have someone else trying to dictate what you should do for your own peace of mind. You are so much stronger and more patient than I could ever be in this situation.
I am Rh negative as well and had placenta previa. My first was born by c section 14 hours after they induced labor cuz nothing happened. My step daughter just had a baby on the 23rd. Truly, tho, I think it really does sound like some kind of prejudice to act like you have to have std testing when you have been with the same man exclusively all this time. Sounds fishy of them to act like that.
3130 days ago
Comment edited on: 4/28/2009 10:48:48 PM
3130 days ago
Sorry I missed this when you first posted. I am TOTALLY there with TRISHWITCH about documenting and taking an advocate. Any question it might be racially motivated?
I'll be praying. . .
3130 days ago
Oh wow, how horrible of them to bully you like that. People of that nature are sad. I say keep your head up, and follow your heart. You are the mother in this situation and YOU and only YOU know what is best for your child/children. :)
3131 days ago
I have many underlying conditions that would make having a pap and a pelvic exam more of a risk then not having them. Me and my DH have never been sexually active with anyone else (we met as virgins in our teens) but on the same note, he is military and you hear nothing but stories about how soldiers (both male and female) are sleeping around with each other and buying sex from the people out there. I trust my dh not to do such a thing but at the same time it's my trust in dh vs the health of my child. Herpes is really nasty and I have a friend whose son has a form of herpes on his brain. Not only is he mentally and physically handicap but he has seizures daily and is slowly dying. I love and trust my husband but in the end, this is about the health of my child. So getting STD and infection testing is something I want to do. At the same time, you can have a herpes breakout at anytime and they can only detect it during a break out. If they are willing to give me only one test, I want to use it wisely. Since you can give birth with herpes (as long as you are not having an out break) I rather get checked closer to the end of my pregnancy than at the start. Honestly, I rather get checked for infections and STD's whenever I feel the need (which at this point I don't) and not when they think is best. Only I know what may or may not be going on in my sex life and my partners sex life so shouldn't the choice be up to me?
But Like I said, Dh was just recently tested for STD's (something the military does) and all my paps and pelvic exams have come back clean as recent as last years exam. The risk is low but the risk of preterm labor (due to another condition) pelvic injury, infection, bleeding (I'm rh neg) and SPD are much, much higher and would cause long term complications. A STD test can be done with a swab of a q-tip but they want the full legs in stirrups, tools in me, pushing around on my uterus and organs and scraping my cervix for cancer (which they won't treat anyways). Like I said, I've gone to the second stage of testing for those concerns (U/S) and I'm clear on all of that. Like the doctor said, my risk is low and they expect everything to come back clean...Why bother when the risk for everything else is so high if they go ahead with the exam right now. If they wait until 36 weeks, right before birth or after birth my risk of anything is low and I can give birth and the baby has a chance of surviving.
3136 days ago
Oh My God...I am so sorry that you had to go through this. That is terrible.
As another commenter stated and recommended, I would document everything that was said, done and call the board of ethics wherever you live. I would also consult with a lawyer. It has to be against the law in some form or fashion to scare/intimidate on that level.
Again..I am sorry that that had to happen to you. You are the patient and have every right to ask what questions and concerns you may have.
Please keep us updated on what you decided to do.
Try and have a good day and God bless...
3136 days ago
im sorry your haveing such a hard time but just follow your heart and do the things you know are best
3136 days ago
Why would they think you'd have an STD? Are you afraid to have a PAP Test because you are worried that it could cause you to go into premature labor? I don't think it is a real issue. Did you have premature babies before?
If you have herpes, that is a concern for your baby. My son's gf has a cousin who was showing me that she has herpes in her one eye and has poor vision and flare-ups, as she got it when she was born from her mother.
3136 days ago
I am proud of you and the way that you handled the situation .. you need to stay calm for you and for the little one.. my prayers go up for you my friend.. keep us in the loop.
3139 days ago
I'm not so sure I could have handled the situation AT ALL. I prob would have had a nervous breakdown right then and there. I hope things go better for you and I'm sorry you were bullied by insensitive, well..... You know what I mean. Your week can only go up!
3139 days ago
OMG, I would call the Board of Ethics and report them, and I would let them know I did so. I would find articles supporting your view and hand deliver them, and I would take an advocate with you to all future Dr. Appointments, I have done this before, and medial professionals are much more careful in what they say and do when being watched by an objective person.
3139 days ago
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