Wednesday, April 08, 2009
I have a strange way of thinking sometimes. Sometimes I picture my life and where I have been like a map on a video game. You know the kind where only the places you have been are lit up and the rest is all black....
Anyway I am at a place where I have never been. I have never lived a healthy lifestyle like this. I have never exercised like this. I have never made consistant healthy eating choices. It feels good. I have never seen so much success with weight loss. It is awesome
Part of me, though I never admitted it, did not believe I could do it. I never thought I would enjoy exercise. I never thought I wouldn't depend on food to make life enjoyable. I never ever thought I could run.
My mom bikes. She bike miles and miles a day. It is her passion. I think I am going to learn to love running like my mom likes biking. I may not run miles and miles a day, but I am going to work my self up to be able to run for 30 minutes. Right now I am at 20. I am going to run 20 until I can pick up speed, then I will increase the time.... I am not into the structured schedule running mags and plans give you, but my "plan" hardly even able to be called a plan is working.
I am at a completely new point in my life and although I have a LONG way to go. I know I am going to get there. This whole journey was about fitness and physical condition and I am so proud of my achievments. This weight loss was never about appearance and as funny as it is I find more flaws in myself now than I did when I was fatter. I notice I have wrinkles on my face. I notice my face is no longer round (I liked my round face LOL) My "girls" are more saggy than they were before ...sigh... BUT I am not complaining. I loved myself then just how I was and I love myself now just how I am. I like feeling able and this journey is allowing me to do things I have alwasy wanted to do!