Sunday, April 05, 2009
Lately, I hate myself. I'm mad at myself. My self-image is complete crap. I can't figure out for the life of me why my fiance actually enjoys touching me, because I can barely stand to look at myself. And I get mad - mad that I'm fat, mad that I'm lazy, mad that I can't wear all the clothes in my closet, and mad that I can't seem to change that anger into movement of any kind. Sometimes I can channel it into housework, but that's it.
Why am I sitting here at the computer instead of doing crunches? Because I don't want to do crunches. Crunches suck.
I guess it doesn't help that it's PMS time, ha! But really, I can't get myself to *want* to do anything. At least I'm filling in my nutrition logs again, which I guess is better than nothing.
How the hell do all you perky motivated you-can-do-it people manage it? The drugs I'm on are NOT good enough!