Saturday, April 04, 2009
I am down below 150lbs.
I know, I was down earlier, but honestly, every time I have dieted, EVER, I have gotten to 150 plus or minus a couple of pounds and then I can't break past it. I'm not talking "just" a plateau, I'm talking seven month to three years worth of hovering around 149-151 without any change unless I GAIN weight. And since I'm not even 5'2" (but my doctors said I should list that as my height to accommodate my medical nutritional needs on here), that's DEFINITELY not a healthy weight. I could just never lose more than 5-10lbs without stopping and being unable to lose more.
Now, granted, this time I had to land in the hospital and drop something like 13lbs from that nasty case of esophagitis over the course of two weeks, but it's been a month since I first landed in there. I'm still feeling a little bit ill, mostly because my body is still getting used to me, well, EATING again, but I let myself have one week off to try and gain back a little of that unhealthy weight loss (because dropping that much weight because I can't keep down anything but jello and water? Not good), and then when I had put back on 3lbs of that, I jumped back into the routine. I've been at it for about three weeks now...first week I stayed stable (which I was fine with because, hey, I was still recovering and only exercised 60 minutes the entire week), the next week I dropped to just barely 149, and I figured that if I lost any more, it would be nothing short of a miracle.
I did a weigh-in today, about two days earlier than I usually do, just because I was curious and because I'd been feeling sick all night long and wondered if I was actually sick or if I just had eaten something that got me all stuffed up. And the scale told me I had dropped 2lbs since the beginning of the week.
The last time I weighed less than 150lbs was four years ago after a two week stay in the hospital for complications from burst cysts and a three month bout with depression that meant my parents had to force me to eat. The last time I weighed less than 150lbs in a healthy way was when I was 14 and came back from taking a walking tour around Europe for 27 days.
That was ten years ago.
I still don't fit into some of my "old" (read: bought last year) jeans even though they are size 13's and 11-12's, but I fit into a couple of used pairs of 11's that I grabbed at a thrift store this week. My 14-15's are falling off of me and I can feel my hipbones again without having to push down on my tummy to get to them.
I know losing more will be even harder now because my body hasn't been at this weight in YEARS. But I think if I can even just maintain this weight without gaining it back for a few weeks, I'll be proud of myself.