I think one of the greatest things that confuses me when it comes to weight loss is how to accept my body and at the same time want to lose weight. If I love the body I'm in, why would I want to change it? I think that was one of my problems before when I stopped losing and started gaining back what I lost. Both times there was an event that maid me get distracted from my goals (like a vacation) and at that time I was pretty happy that I was thinner than before even if it wasn't yet ideal and I didn't feel the motivation to keep going, to keep losing and watching and recording on Spark.
There was a blog on the Daily Spark blog recently and it talked about a person's body image and how it correlates to their relationship with food. www.dailyspark.com/blog.
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age_drive_your_habits I would be in the Food/Body Preoccupied/Obsessed section of the continuum that the blog links to. This means that I think about food a lot, and I'm ashamed when I eat too much, and that I want to change my eating patterns. Also that I spend a significant amount of time observing my body, observing others and comparing the two. I have many fat days and I feel like I would look better if I lost some weight. This was so incredibly accurate that it made me think a lot about it. Unlike some of the other members that commented on the blog, it feels like these too are directly linked for me. If I weighed less, I wouldn't obsess so much about food. But again, this relates back to my problems. When I accept my body (more), I don't obsess about food, and then I eat whatever I want and gain it back. It's a pretty bad loop.

So how do I get out of this loop? Well to me the answer is pretty clear, but putting it in place is not. I obviously need to make this a lifestyle change and not just a diet. This is one of Spark's main philosophy's. Actually making it a lifestyle change is what seems difficult to me. They way I eat and exercise just doesn't make me want to do it for the rest of my life. Especially the way I exercise, I work really hard. I know that once I start to maintain that I don't need to do as much but I tend to go into lazy mode at that point.
So I think I need to find ways to exercise and still have fun. I would love to join recreational sports but since I"m still a student doing co-op, I'm in a different place every 4 months, and that's not an option. I can always walk which is good. I'm also asking my dad to dig up my bike in my barn and get it ready to use. I hope that I can at least have fun with that.

If you know any other fun exercises, I would appreciate some tips!