Day 90, The Lost Month
Friday, April 03, 2009
So, if you've been watching my page I'll bet you have been wondering not only where I have been, but why my weigh in's have been less than spectacular. I really don't want to sit here and give you a million and one excuses for why I haven't been doing well. I'll try to explain what's been going on in my life, but I am going to say right now: I failed. I let myself down, and I really feel horrible to have wasted an entire month.
So, my last journal entry was for Week 8. Tomorrow is my weigh-in for Week 13! What happened? Well, on March 1 we had my sisters bridal shower. I did well on this day, as far as eating went I didn't eat enough. I was still feeling well, and that week went well as far as my eating, exercise and journal-ing went. At the shower, I got a lot of really great comments about how good I looked, which I loved! Then on March 7th we had my sister's bachelorette party in Baltimore, MD. I am not much of a drinker, in fact I can count on one hand the number of times I've been drunk.. and you can add this night to the list. I consumed a lot of liquid calories, and even had McDonald's on the ride home in our limo-bus. On the 8th we had a brunch, and basically from this day on I haven't journaled much of my food. I didn't really exercise either.
The next weekend we had our St. Patty's parade as well as my Nan's brother passing away, and the weekend after that my great-uncle's funeral. Ever since then my Nan has been over here basically 24/7. She's here now in the other room. I love my Nan, more than words can express, she is so important to me. She loves me, but sometimes she doesn't think of my best interest. She knows what foods I love, and she brings them around me. In moderation I am fine, but when she leaves and I beg her to take the temptation food with her, and she leaves it anyway - well, you can guess what happens.
My mom and I have been talking about her moving in with us, and my first thought was "Oh no, she can't- I'll gain so much weight!" How selfish am I? I am proud to say that today I did well with her. We got Arby's for lunch, and normally my meal would consist of a medium or large roast beef sandwich, a large curly fry, and a large soda. I had a Jr. Roast Beef, Small Curly Fry and some Crystal Light! I haven't binged or eaten anything off-plan today, I just finished WATP, and yesterday I did Core. (Although at night I did eat a little bit more than I would have liked).
This blog is long. I realize that, but I needed to come clean, to admit where I've been, what I've been doing, and how I plan on fixing it. April will NOT be a wasted month. I WILL overcome my obstacles, and I WILL regain control. I wanted to be 235 for Jillian's wedding, and while I do not believe I will get there, I am going to do my best to get down to where I can before then. My dress is fitting well, by the way.
I will weigh-in tomorrow before class. I doubt it will be great, but I will weigh-in regardless, and move on from there. I feel horrible about March, but considering what happened I am surprised I didn't gain more.
Talk to you soon,