Tuesday, March 31, 2009
During my many years of dancing, my weight has always been an issue. While I have always had a healthy BMI, my very narrow frame and sweet tooth have left me feeling pudgy, unhealthy, and often fatigued. Spending so much time in front of a giant mirror with very thin girls did not do much to build my self-esteem, and I got into the habit of escaping with food as a teenager. The worst thing this process did to me was develop chronic procrastination: I would always tell myself that I'd be healthy tomorrow. After all, I'm the only one keeping track, I'm not hurting anyone, and no one is going to blame me for not reaching my goals.
The problem is that tomorrow never comes, and I really am hurting someone... me. I've had a high enough exercise level during my life not to damage my health in any palpable way... yet. For me, it isn't about the weight and my appearance so much as it is about growing up and becoming accountable for my health and my life. I want to be a better, more responsible person. Now that I have found my passion in school and finally committed to the work that I need to do to become a professor (someday,) I'm ready to commit to taking care of my body.