Friday, March 27, 2009
So I had a little binge. It really wasn't bad compared to what I've been known to do but still the problem behind the eating was there. I've figured out that my biggest trigger lately is frustration. It used to be anger, sadness and loneliness but since those things aren't such a part of my life anymore, now its this frustration thing. I was frustrated with how both my husband and son were acting and was feeling overwhelmed. When they left to take the dog for a walk, I poured myself 2 big bowls of cocoa krispies and shoveled it into my mouth faster than I could swallow it practically. I was seriously set to pour myself a 3rd bowl but something inside me cried out to STOP!! I'm learning day by day and I'm thinking that instead of beating myself up over this loss of control that I should be happy with myself that I was able to stop without too much damage. I really, really hate that I have to fight this feeling!!!! Anyway, I tracked the cereal and milk. In the past if I was tracking food or whatever I would just "forget" to write down my binge food so that when I looked over my day's food intake it looked nice and normal - I didn't want the reminders staring me in the face. One thing I've come to learn is that I have to be honest with myself or else I'll never beat these food demons. So yeah... I think I'll just focus on the good parts that came out of this little episode of mine and move on.