Crying/ Prayer

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

So.. I've been bleeding in between periods for 3 months now. I did all the STD tests and nothing.. So now the doctors would like to give me another exam and an ultrasound thinking that it could be a cyst or endometriosis, or uterine cancer or cervitis or alllll these other things. So April 9th I go for my pelvic exam and they will order an ultra sound for me then. I was up crying alllll night because I was thinking about the "what if's" ya know? I haven't had any kids yet and I want 2 so WHAT IF I end up not being able to have any? WHAT IF I need surgery and I die? I know thats extreme but that is where my mind went. It's like here I am working hard on getting healthy so I can live a long and exciting life and I get THIS news..

To top things off my ex (who I guess I kinda have been dating/sexing... I dunno what it is) should be supporting me but isn't and he's an asshole so I guess that's why he's an ex right? What sucks is that we were engaged and the whole 9 yards so you'd think he would treat me a little better but NOOOO.. I guess some men are just trash.. I should be happy I found out he was trash right? lol... Still hurts though not having his support through this or at all.. So I've decided to just leave him alone completely.. And that advice came from one of his close friends who I now can consider a friend of mine.

In all bad news there is always a glimmer of hope and positivity. My positive thing is that I am still here and aside from being tired, I feel great. I am back in the gym, I am eating right, i am focused on what I have to do in order to succeed in life, I know who my real friends are and I have a great family that has my back.. So I know whatever it is I will get through it..

PLUUUUS KrucialKimmie finally shared her abs secrets.. lol.. YESSSS!!!!

I would appreciate any and all of your prayers for me and my health and life and getting past the sucky ex... Thanks guys!! And as bad as things are, there's always someone somewhere how has it worse than you so smile and be happy for the positive things in your life. emoticon
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  • MS-CEE
    Sending you positive vibes and prayers, little sister! emoticon
    3160 days ago
    Thank you guys so much.. For the prayer, the motivation, and the genuine caring and kindness... I feel a little more relaxed.

    XSOLA_FIDEX: I will visit that website. Bible study and prayer uplifts me every single time I feel down.

    FREYTAMRA: You're totally right.. 1. He's a butt munch and 2. I need to take it easy because it is probably something that can be fixed easy, no problem. thanks for the soothing advice. i will surely use it.

    MANDYBOO: I can dig it... If they are dragging me down, they sooo need to just STEP...

    Thanks again to all of you for helping be be a bit stronger!! emoticon
    3160 days ago
    Hi! I just came across your blog and saw the call to prayer. I have said a prayer, and hope that God's will shall be done in your life and for your fear and sickness. If you have a moment, go to and look up John 15. Within that scripture holds the promise that if you get your life through God and live by His words and promises, ask and whatever it is that you want within His will it will be done for you. That means healing of the spirit, body, and mind can be yours. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week, and that you find the rest and joy that you require!

    3160 days ago
    You don't know me but I just finished posting my blog for today...trying to get back at it! :) I decided to just search around other blogs for some inspiration and found yours.

    There are soooooo many things that could be going on to cause your issues.....things that are not "BAD BAD". Ultrasounds are no big deal at all...I've had quite a few. I've had things "wrong", the ultasounds shows the dr what it is.. and you fix it...with meds, possible surgery (easy surgery - NOT going to effect your future). There are so many procedures to fix things right now? Very surprising.

    It's so stressful let your mind wander - I'm a pro at it.

    The ex? Well.... the good news aren't married to him. You know how he is. It hurts terribly. You really need someone to lien on right now and he's being his typical self. Would he feel the same it there was something going on with his reproductive system?? I think not. lol

    Hang in there!! Stay focused on the workouts. Exercise really helps to keep your mind busy as well. Best of luck!
    3160 days ago
    Good luck with your exam!

    Stay strong and keep anyone that drags you down, OUT of your life.

    3160 days ago
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