Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Life sure can throw some curves. Daylight Savings Time ended last year and my healthy eating habits and exercising went out the window. The holidays came, my husband lost his job, my office was reduced from four rooms to two and the stress was too much for me. I gave up and for months felt so sorry for myself. I had an intense pity party and no one was going to make me feel better. I did have some part of myself that remained sane. I placed my first new bicycle on layaway and dreamed of the day that I could get it out and ride - the wind whipping through my hair - I know, I need to wear a helmet. But I still felt sorry for myself.
But God in His infinite wisdom stopped indulging my pity party and on Monday (3.16.09) told me that enough was enough - to get over it. He had been sending me small signs to prepare me for this so I was not caught totally off guard. I was just so grateful that He loved me through all of this and that I heard His voice. So after a Monday morning spent at my desk shedding many tears I began again.
Monday night I attended my first Celebrate Recovery step program for overeating/weight issues. I know what to do food wise - after all, as one woman said, we are all professional dieters. I need to get to the heart of the matter and fix that. So this time I am not quickly jumping into the weight loss process with both feet - determined to "do it right this time, eat this, don't eat that." I am looking at making one small change and then another small change and then another small change. So, beginning this week I am tracking calories. This automatically means a change in eating habits as I equate calories to money and the need to spend my calories wisely. I have also decided to drink only one large cup of coffee a day with my hazelnut creamer rather than the whole pot. I am only going to weigh in on Monday nights with the rest of the group. Warmer, springtime weather causes me to want to get back outdoors so I look forward to walking and Oh! I got my bicycle out of layaway!
My undisciplined life has gotten me to this state and I want to change it. I do not like where I am right now and I don't want to stay there. I am off to create a new life - one where I feel good, I can bend and move and run and laugh. So, let the new life begin!