Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Earlier this week, one of the featured Spark blogs was about listening to your body and trusting it to tell you when you're hungry, full, and what you need to be eating. While I fully agree with this in some respects, don't you think we should be ignoring our bodies sometimes too?
I only say this because yesterday I had a ROUGH day food wise. Sure, I managed to come in at my calorie range, I ate the appropriate amount of fat and carbs and protein, I even had a relatively low sodium count. But I wasn't happy about it! Someone had brought in these amazing brownie/cookie hybrid things and I just smelled them, just to see if they smelled as delectable as I thought they would. They did. I had the hardest time not eating one. I even justified and rationalized and all of that stuff. I WANTED A BROWNIE.
I ended up not getting one. But I wasn't happy about it. You know how some people have buyers remorse, and they wish they hadn't bought something? The only buyers remorse I ever have was that I didn't buy ENOUGH. That's what I was feeling yesterday. I knew eating that brownie would be satisfying and I wouldn't regret it, and I even regretted not treating myself. I'm on a pretty hardcore diet/exercise regimen for 30 days - and so I'm pretty strict about not eating junk, a lot of processed foods, carbs, fats, sodium...and I spend a lot of time making sure all of my meals balance out in my nutrition tracker. I don't allow for mistakes or unexpected foods, I just cut them out completely.
So my body has started a war with me. Sure, I feel great and I can definitely see a difference in my energy, in my attitude, I'm sleeping better, I'm less bloated, and I'm starting to see some definiton from my work outs. So that's what's making me mad, is it's freaking WORKING. I know I shouldn't complain, but I shudder to think that I'll have to do this forever. Originally I thought I'd just do the plan for 30 days and then spend the rest of my life maintaining. But now that I've seen how my body reacts when I cut out some of my favorite foods, I'm annoyed to think I may never want to eat them again.
I spent about 10 minutes staring at the goldfish aisle when I went to Target last week. I have dreams about brownies. If I listened to my body, all I'd be eating right now would be nacho cheesier Doritos and chocolate chip cookies. I think my body really misses just vegging out on junk food and not having to think so hard about what I eat.
Today I allowed myself two treats. A coke cherry zero, which adds a little sodium and I'm supposed to be staying away from caffeine, and I added pickles and banana peppers to the wrap I made, which is like a day's worth of sodium. I figure the little things in moderation aren't as bad. To someone counting calories, this hardly seems offensive, but since one of my main focuses is sodium, it's definitely a cheat. However, I thoroughly enjoyed my lunch. It was amazingly delicious. And I'm savoring this coke like you wouldn't believe. Last night I allowed myself a 100 calorie ice cream sandwich, because I needed the extra calories and it worked into my meal plan just fine. I know everyone dieting would recommend that you allow yourself a treat just to keep it from seeming like a prison diet, but I figure it's only 30 days and surely I can be disciplined for that long. I've been surprised at how well I've done so far, although I'm quite ready to give up.
I have no qualms with eating healthy, clean, and knowing where your food comes from. I will continue to do that as often as I can for the rest of my life. But I'm looking forward to the end of Making the Cut, so I can indulge a little every now and then. I really miss Doritos. I figure the key phrase is "in moderation". I've never been good with it, but if I keep up my workouts and work on eating right the rest of the time, maybe a small bag of chips every so often won't be that big of a deal.