Monday, March 02, 2009
I HATE looking in the mirror and especially weighing myself. JUST TERRIBLE and utter discused. I can't get below 195 lb and I refuse to get above 205. I am so dissapointed in this weight lose crapt I want to do something. I know there are certain drugs out there and I know other ways but then that would be letting myself do something I haven't for 5yrs----binge and purge!! I could also stay up all night and go to bed in the am. I never eat at night, and sleep all day. But I have a mother-in-law to take-care of so the last idea is out.
I am power-less to this genetic diease called "budda-butt' and "budda belly" . Being over-weight and eating as little as possible is a generational curse on our family--both Father and Mother's side. I just look at dounuts and other fatting junk and I get the intire calories in through my eyes to the butt and waist line.
I know this sounds like a complaint but I am so baffled by this. I eat 5to 8 servings of fruit and veggies a day; drink 6to 10 glasses of water a day and eat a ton of natural fiber foods.
WHAT IS GOING ON that I can't lose weight? Why can't I get some kind of diet pill to help me? This I know will work, it has before. I have to believe in my inner self and FAITH in my higher-power, Jesus Christ to pull me through. I CAN"T DO THIS MY~SELF!!! Help me O' LORD!
Well, enough of this garbage talk time to do something and very drastic.