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Loss, Pain, and Honesty

Sunday, March 01, 2009

This last week sucked.

It would be easy to be less than honest with everyone and back date my goal trackers to say that I have done everything I wanted to do. But I would be lieing to you...most importantly to me.

This last week I did not drink all my water, I did not exercise like I should have, not talking to others, I did not reach out to others.

This last week I became a surrogate mother to a couple of goat kids that were born to one of my goats and watched them slowly die one by one.

I did not do the things I needed to for me while taking care of the babies. I did not do it after they died because I hurt. It hurt to watch them start to improve and then fail and to ultimately die. It hurt to hear them cry in pain and to know that there was nothing that could be done but pray that they would go gently to God. It hurt that I did not have the magic wand to fix them.

I still weighed in on a daily basis and it was interesting to watch the scale swing wildly up and down instead of the small daily changes I am used to seeing.

While I did not direct all the emotions into a workout ---- I did not eat my way through them either. I did not find all the sweet stuff to shove into the hole of hurt. When coming home from work on Friday and running late, I did not stop and have the most calories I could possibly have - instead I got a salad and ate it without dressing.

Today, I stepped on the scale and was back to where I have been lately.

Today, I start again -

Today, I deal with the loss, the pain, being honest.

Today, I reach out for a better way.

Today is the start of a new week - and it does NOT have to suck.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Want to share a thought I heard from STeven Covey the author of SEVen habits of highly successful people. He said " All commercial airliners are off course 90 % of the time yet most arrive to their destination on time. That is because they are constantly making small corrections to get back on course. So maybe beginning again is even better than we think emoticon
    3301 days ago
    I admire your honesty and OOOOh it had to be hard on you trying to save those baby goats... You were so nice to try and now they are in a better place... No more pain. We are stuck in this crazy world dealing with our emotions, our hurt and pain can be overwhelming at times and I am thankful we have the chance to start fresh with a new day and a new week! I know you are going to be okay and I know you are determined. You can do this! Hugs!
    3303 days ago
    Sorry to hear about your goats, it's sad to watch a little creature hurt and you can't do anything about it. Sometimes you need a time out to get your head and your heart straight. Well be happy that you've grown on your spark people journey. You learned that food isn't going to make the hurt go away. You learned that a salad is better for you than a high calorie meal. You learned that you need to drink you water, even if you took a break for awhile you learned that you need to start again.
    3304 days ago
    New week, new month, new chance to start again. I'm sorry last week posed many painful challenges. But the important thing is- you did not fail. Sure, maybe you didn't do all you set out to do. But you were mindful, you held steady, and now we can push forward into progress. Stay strong, Lady. Today is the first day of a brand new start!
    3306 days ago
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