Since I became interested in fitness and health (waaay back in high school), I've wanted to be a runner. However, this desire was not so much for the benefits it could bring to me, but more for the tag I'd get of "a runner."

I envisioned people pointing at me and saying, "she's a runner" or "oh, Erin? She must be out running." And me saying things like, "Oh, I gotta get my run in today" or "Wow. What a great run!" As a runner, I'd be strong, toned, fit, athletic, slim, rock-hard, determined and disciplined because all those words (and more) describe a runner to me.

Finally, last week, after weeks of researching--because I'm terrified of getting hurt or wasting my time--I found the tools I needed and set myself up for a run in the gym. At the beginning of my run, I felt like I was going to die, being the first time I'd run on purpose ever in my life. But, as time went on (I was alternating 1 min. of running and 1 1/2 min. of walking) I felt great...focused and driven to finish up this program designed to slowly get me into running . I'd finished my 30 minutes and yelled to everyone (well, three people who I work with) in the gym that I just ran! They clapped.

Two days after that, I was back at it again. A "real" runner was next to me on the other treadmill. He ran for 20 minutes STRAIGHT! Rather than be jealous, like usual, I ran my little beginner thang and was feeling good just like the first time.

So, with two days down, I declared myself a runner. I found it very necessary to go and buy running shoes rather than use whatever silly pair I have...because I'm a runner, you know. I think the pair I have are running shoes, though. I'll use any excuse to shop.

BUT! The day after my second run, I woke up with my knee so sore I wanted to rip it off my body. I never expected to get hurt because I did all the stretching I was supposed to, I felt I had good form, and, come on, I'm not really a runner...runners get running injuries. My knee is still sore and puffy four days later.

I've learned some things:

1. I cannot pick up running at 28. Maybe at 18, but not at 28.
2. I seem to burn the same amount of calories or less running than I do when I get on the elliptical for the same amount of time.
3. The feeling of empowerment I got after my run was not from a surge of physical fitness, but more from one of my goals being semi-fulfilled.
4. I hate running, I really do.
5. I like the elliptical way more.

I'm going back to my elliptical routines. I love the elliptical. Why would I turn my back on it to pound, pound, pound my poor little joints on the treadmill? The elliptical has never hurt me, it's always there (I own one!), and it provides a great workout. After all, I used it to lose 30 pounds last year (and I didn't use it to gain all that back), and I do feel great after I use it.

I no longer want to be a runner. What was I thinking? I AM AN ELLIPTICALLER!