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    RAYLINSTEPHENS   164,838
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Gosh but it's cold outside!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Having nothing to do with the title, I am having a pretty good day!

I have been asked by so many people, "what do you weigh now?" And then the general comment is, "I don't even weigh that!"

I don't know what the proper response to that is but I say that I am hearing that a lot these days and then I go on to tell people how short I am.

DH was asked by a few people, "what does Linda weigh now?" followed closely by, "well how heavy was she?"

Is it time for me to answer these people with, "well what do you weigh?"

I think I am dealing with the insecurities of other people here so I am going to just continue to be polite and answer the questions honestly and without sarcasm.

What do you think?

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JERSEYGIRL24 2/25/2009 6:01PM

    I agree, people can be so rude, but in this case it doesn't sound like they intend to be. Maybe answering a question with a question is the way to go. If they ask, "How much do you weigh", try asking them the same question before answering it. If asked how much weight you've lost, maybe just say "a lot".

These things happen outside of the realm of weight loss also. Years ago, I worked with a young woman who desperately wanted to have a baby. After two ectopic pregnancies, it was clear that she would not be able to have children (she subsequently adopted). Our boss was a middle aged single woman who, after telling this girl how sorry she was, said something to her to the effect that her doctor told her that she could have had 10 children if she wanted to! It was extremely rude, but if you knew this woman, I don't think she really meant to get my friend upset.

I've also had a lot of rude comments made to me about my height. I am 5'10", which may not seem super tall these days, but when I was growing up, it was. I don't doubt that a lot of comments were made by cruel kids in an effort to upset me (which they clearly did), but in some cases they were made out of ignorance (like the time someone asked me how tall I was when I was born).

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_VALEO_ 2/25/2009 7:02AM

    What a strange (and rude) question to ask your husband! How comfortable is he being asked that?

I can feel some pangs of jealousy and envy in the "I don't even weigh that!" comment, and also frustration. It's a nonsense to compare our weight to someone else's weight, we all have a different weight history, and a different weight which is right for us. What is important how we feel with ourselves and how healthy we want to be!

Firstly I thought I didn't belong here since I had not "lot of pounds" to lose. I must say that I don't really look at the ticker as I think we're all in the same boat, no matter it's 10lb or 100lb to lose, our goals are the same: feeling good about ourselves, building confidence, and being healthier.

I agree with Mob's comment, members who are struggling with their weight can be intimidated with loss such as yours; IMHO, it should be an inspiration: "you can do it too!"

Just keep on what you're doing: great support and tips!
I hear how you feel when being asked those questions -yes, it can be cold outside! ;), but I'm sure that lots of members ask you these questions without meaning any harm, I'd stay polite too because some members are in great distress.
Then it's up to them (us) to follow the lead of persons who achieved or nearly achieved their goals.


Comment edited on: 2/25/2009 7:07:14 AM

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MOB8/2009 2/24/2009 10:15PM

    You weigh what is right for YOU and only after a lot of very hard work. So just be honest and say "I weigh less than I did and feel GREAT"! They can always look at your ticker! If they want advice, the best I can think of "there are NO shortcuts to this process!"

I try to remember that a lot of folks on here are intimidated by loss such as yours and they're really struggling to hang on. Just be supportive and remind them that we ALL start at a point less than we want to be at, but that's the whole point of Spark People....to get them OUT of their comfort zone and into the place that's right for THEM!


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DINA:-) 2/24/2009 7:57PM

    very good point! it's strange that when people have lost a lot of weight they get asked how much they weigh and weighed, but you would never ask somebody that otherwise. next time you get asked how much you weigh maybe you can respond with "healthy" and see how that goes.

emoticon

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FLORIDA-BISHOP 2/24/2009 1:55PM

    I think it's normal to ask that when you're on a site like this one. I'm bad about asking what a person weighs now if they don't have a ticker showing and they say that they weighed a lot to start. Maybe I shouldn't.
I think a lot of us tend to compare ourselves with other people around the same height, thinking maybe our weight goal isn't enough, etc. Know what I mean?
Vicki

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SUPREME5 2/24/2009 12:30PM

    i agree with marty. people are rude and yes we smile as we tell them i know i feel like giving them the butt kick. if they worked as hard as we do to lose this wieght
they would know. some are ginuine in the intrest of how well you look
don't let thier insecurites rub off on you some are just plain jelous so keep up[ the good work and keep doing what your doing
dorene emoticon

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MARTY19 2/24/2009 11:48AM

    I would continue to be polite and answer the questions if you are comforable with them. Asking them what they way, is an effective way to stop the noseness. LOL
I still think you deserve the gold medal.

Hugs,
Marty

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