Friday, February 20, 2009
This month was always a busy month for me. It's one that most importantly in my life now marks my youngest's birthday - she turns 8 tomorrow and well it is my reality that I don't have babies anymore. It's sad, yet nice. It means that they are becoming more independent. It means that I now have more 'me' time.
I remember as they were younger how my time was consumed playing the role of caregiver. A time, when I used to forget about me and perhaps where I let myself go and gained some weight.
Those times have changed and now as I focus on becoming healthy, I act as a role model for my children who watch as I practice good eating, exercise. I feel great about this.
It's also the month where my dad's birthday was, my ex's birthday, valentine's and next week - Feb 25th was not only my former wedding anniversary date but my parents. I used to look at this month with dread and feel sad but NO MORE. Now I choose to look at it in a more positive light... as I recognize the freedom that my daughters' aging brings, how I can now go out more and do more independently. I look at next week's date as a time to recall fondly my parents who lived 'till death did them part' ... celebrating over 40 years of marriage.
I do not condone marriage. Although it didn't work out for me, I still do believe in love. It just meant that mine was not the ONE. It does not mean there is not ONE for me... just that I haven't come across it in my journey yet.
It's the one part that I miss at times... the closeness of sharing a special bond with a man. I know that when the time is right, this will come into my life again and this time it will be RIGHT because I will not accept anything less.
I am so worth it! And so are my daughters... My mate is out there... we just haven't met yet...