Will anything ever be "normal"? A NEED TO VENT!
Friday, February 13, 2009
As I have adjusted myself to being able to eat right and trying to find my motivation for exercise I continuously let stress determine the outcome.
I have not been tracking my nutrition and I have not been signing on. I need to get back to this it's working and it's great but it is hard when your life seems to be in an uproar all of the time. I realize that a lot of it is self created but sometimes even though you know that it is going to create stress you do it because you know that it is going to cause less stress on someone else.
In this case, I took on a lot of stress so that my husband could have less stress. I know that he appreciates it because he tells me. His twin sister is recently divorced and has moved in with us. She is a very stressful unhappy person with a short fuse so it is difficult for me to come home from work everynight to listen to what she has had to think about or deal with all day. I love my husband so I love his family. 6 Months she has been with us and I have kept my cool...which is really an accomplishment for me. I just kept telling myself 5 more weeks and she would be moving to California with her daughter. WELL...on this last Tuesday my sister in law jumped from a third floor balcony 13 feet to a 2nd floor in the building she works in (yeah don't ask). She landed on her feet so she shattered her foot, fractured her leg, fractured the L1,2 and 3 vertebrea in her lower back and fractured her arm. Don't get me wrong thank god she is alive and her injuries will heal. But as for now I will be her caregiver for the next 14 weeks before she is able to get up from laying flat on her back. Her surgery on her foot requires 7 pins and a plate her back just needs to heal. I just can't help myself from thinking that this really is going to be hard and that I wish she had somewhere else to go, and then I get stressed because I feel guilty for the feelings. We are her only family in the area that she has not damaged the relationship with and she can not travel anywhere so it appears that God has given me the task to learn to deal with the difficult and have maybe more compassion. I just wish that her arguementative/combative personality would chill so that I could have a chance to be compassionate.
I realize that this is a personal matter I feel strange to place it in my blog. But I also felt that I needed to vent and right now I can not do that with anyone as I do not want to appear uncaring. I would normally talk to my husband but I know that his stress is very high right now because he is worried about me and keeping things as normal as possible for the kids.
Well thanks for listening.....its always good to have someone to talk to!