Holding My Own
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
I went to the cardiologist. He was very pleased with the visit. I'm so much improved over 5 years ago. Also, since I was prayed over in May, I've only taken 5 doses of Nitro. Before that, I was taking 200 every 4-6 weeks!
The Lord reminded me recently, this is the worst time of year for me. This time Last year was the first time I'd been to church in about 4 years. Though I occasionally miss now, I am there for most of the main services and some others. Last year, I would never have believed this possible.
On top of this, I'm carrying enormous stress this year. I can't wait until next year and see how well I'll be doing w/o this load.
Other than church my life is what it was, except, most of the time I can think w/out "forcing" my brain to work. With the stress, I can't handle anything else. My email boxes even literally have thousands of emails.
As for my son, we finally got him out of jail after 6 months. He's been doing good getting into counseling, working with doctors to get what he needs, working with lawyers, etc. He did get out with and unwanted gift; MRSA. What he thought was boils and he popped one, put him in the hospital. He is back home now, doing ok. He'll be having a visiting nurse.
He has blacked out most of July, when they say he raped his daughter. He read parts of her statement, but it is all unreal to him. Even the counselors who work with him thinks he was set up. His medical records don't support his doing anything like this.
He has chosen to accept a deal tho. Since Tammy is 13, the DA promised to put her on the stand. He won't do that. People have raised a ruccus over it, usually those w/o their own kids and said they'd put her on. My brother was one of these. All I could think is that's the difference between being a father and being an uncle.
CPS is trying to tear the family apart. They want to put Tammy up for adoption. My daughter is trying to fight for her, but can't afford a lawyer. I actually put it on Craig's list hoping some kind lawyer would be interested.
Sorry I haven't checked in. I just haven't been strong enough to do more than I I'm doing now. (Church and surviving.)