Holding My Own

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

I went to the cardiologist. He was very pleased with the visit. I'm so much improved over 5 years ago. Also, since I was prayed over in May, I've only taken 5 doses of Nitro. Before that, I was taking 200 every 4-6 weeks!

The Lord reminded me recently, this is the worst time of year for me. This time Last year was the first time I'd been to church in about 4 years. Though I occasionally miss now, I am there for most of the main services and some others. Last year, I would never have believed this possible.

On top of this, I'm carrying enormous stress this year. I can't wait until next year and see how well I'll be doing w/o this load.

Other than church my life is what it was, except, most of the time I can think w/out "forcing" my brain to work. With the stress, I can't handle anything else. My email boxes even literally have thousands of emails.

As for my son, we finally got him out of jail after 6 months. He's been doing good getting into counseling, working with doctors to get what he needs, working with lawyers, etc. He did get out with and unwanted gift; MRSA. What he thought was boils and he popped one, put him in the hospital. He is back home now, doing ok. He'll be having a visiting nurse.

He has blacked out most of July, when they say he raped his daughter. He read parts of her statement, but it is all unreal to him. Even the counselors who work with him thinks he was set up. His medical records don't support his doing anything like this.

He has chosen to accept a deal tho. Since Tammy is 13, the DA promised to put her on the stand. He won't do that. People have raised a ruccus over it, usually those w/o their own kids and said they'd put her on. My brother was one of these. All I could think is that's the difference between being a father and being an uncle.

CPS is trying to tear the family apart. They want to put Tammy up for adoption. My daughter is trying to fight for her, but can't afford a lawyer. I actually put it on Craig's list hoping some kind lawyer would be interested.

Sorry I haven't checked in. I just haven't been strong enough to do more than I I'm doing now. (Church and surviving.)
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  • 1AVERY
    Caroline it sounds like you are having a very stressful time. Your situation sounds terrible but with your faith it will all straighten out. We had a similiar situation in my husbands family a niece said one of her uncles did something to her. The whole family was torn apart by it and some still aren't talking almost 20 years later. It looks like your family is standing by each other and that is GREAT. My thoughts are with you. We don't have the answers but we do have the support you need. Teri1 emoticon
    3150 days ago
    Its so good to actually hear from you though I'm so sorry that you are still going through so much stress.

    Take care but please keep in touch...we have all missed you!
    3153 days ago
    Caroline, I'm very happy to hear from you. I'm so very happy you checked in. The Lord will see you through all this. Hang in there. Love, Janey
    3153 days ago
    Caroline, I just want you know I am praying for you and for your sons situation. You never know what any child will say. I understand exactly what you are going through here.
    Praying for all.
    God bless you.
    Hugs my friend,
    3153 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    It might be best for Tammy to have a new family during high school, so she doesn't go out and get involved with the wrong kids and "act out." Thirteen is a difficult age.
    3154 days ago
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