Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I think it goes without saying that a majority of sparkers have had, at some point in their storied diet careers, encounters with food that was eaten more out of habit than out of an absolute need to stop ones stomach from collapsing on itself like a ravening black hole. Who hasn't looked at their clock and said, "It's 11:30 pm. Time for lunch. Not really hungry, but who cares, I just want to leave my desk."
Regardless of the frightening universality of this experience, it's been a while since I've had a moment where I've been so acutely aware of it as I had this evening. Before going to class this evening I was sure to swing by a local drive-thru to pick up a wrap sammy . I know, I know, not the best choice, mind you, but I have limited choices on my way to school and limited time in which to pick it up and scarf it down (another no-no, but you get the picture). The sandwich was more...eh...well just larger than I thought it would be. It was more of a non-mexican burrito than a "wrap" really. Still. I figured this would be preferable to coming home after class, a slavering hungry beastie ready to walk through my own door and immediately begin roasting my cat on a spit.
The strategy seemed to be working fairly well, too. All throughout class and on my drive home i was peacefully, blissfully hungry. Not a peep from my gastro-intestinal track. Not even a hint of craving to pic up a sweet from the store on the way home to share between me and the hubby (because complicity eases guilt, right). But I walk in my house, and within 5 minutes of being home, I have the sudden urge to see if perhaps, just maybe, the bit of the gyros my Husband had for dinner might still be lurking around unmolested. The feeling stuck with me for a few minutes, and after i determined that no, there was no gyros, still felt the need to maybe scrounge through the cupboard o see if there might be something quick to stuff into my maw.
I sit in front of this screen now, partly pleased at having managed to bypass this weird little blip. I'm more bemused, though, about the whole thing. Like it's not that big a deal since its how I should function anyway. Again, not so strange that it happened, but more strange that I was so mindful of it (or at least, mindful enough to avoid it). Perhaps my recent renewal of my meditation practice is starting to bear fruit?
Then again, I am probably overanalyzing this in the extreme. Ah blogs...