what am I waiting for?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
I am sitting here wondering what I am waiting for? what is it going to take for me to take my life seriously and make the changes I need to make no matter the cost. when will I be able to put my health first in my life and be willing to do whatever it takes. It feels so good to be able to say i have lost weight and to see my clothes getting bigger but it just seems like I am always struggling to stay away from the food. why can't I say NO to the things that are not good for me. I say no to drugs and to drinking and driving and other things that are not in my best interest so why is it so hard to say no to the thing that is killing me the most. FOOD. it is hard because we have to eat but why does eating healthy have to be so darn hard?
well I realize that my problem is that I do not value my life. I do not see myself as worth sacrificing for. but that is going to change. I am going to fake it until I make it. I have made a promise to myself that I am not going to let another day go by without seeing myself as I am. I am smart, funny, kind, compassionate, caring and worth taking care of. I will not let another day go by without telling myself that I am worth it. I have value. I have value. I have value. I will keep telling myself this until I believe it. then I will walk in that value. I have made many good healthy changes and I will continue to make more. I will also give myself permission to make mistakes and make wrong choices as long as I hold myself accountable and know that every day is a new chance to make good choices and yesterday is the past and not in control of me today.
I am worth it. I have value. I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.
I want to lose another 20 lbs. by the end of february for a wedding and I will do all I can to accomplish that goal and if I don't then that is ok as long as I know I did my best.