not a great day today.
infact, i feel like a total failure.
it began well enough. i got up, did 35 minutes of working out, then just felt like crap and layed back down for a half an hour. i know i am sick--i so felt it last night--but come on. i wanted this to be a good week, wanted to keep up momentum.
yes, i know i should rest and all that but i dont want to.
after i got up, i did another half hour before i went shopping with my mom.
we had a good time. i suggested just getting a slice of pizza but she wanted to go to the olive garden, so thats where we went.
not that i was complaining.
its not about the olive garden food.
if im going there, im getting what i want, eating what i want with no regrets.
ive come to grips with eating out.
what i havent come to grips with is getting a box of 100 calorie oreo cakesters and eating the whole stupid box in approximately 3.5 minutes.
500 calories in oreo cakesters.
the good news is that i didnt get a donut. every week i want a donut and peruse them. this week i was set on getting one donut and was deciding which kind i wanted, and i realized there was a mirror behind the donuts.
i stood there and looked at myself, asked myself if this is what i wanted.
the answer was no.
then i got home, couldnt get into contact with r. and wasnt sure if his friend was coming over, so i ran around cleaning.
only to find out the friend wasnt coming over.
then r. just went downstairs to play videogames ---it was about 20 after nine. i was going to finish my working out, since i had another hour but i got about 3 minutes in and decided:
b--im sick--just really achey right now, nose running and sore throat, and ear ache but not terribly, just......about 50% feeling awful.
c-i really want to play animal crossing.
but its like the entire time im going to be playing im going to be thinking i should be working out.
i deserve a break sometimes too. i am good at telling people to give themselves a break, not beat themselves down, but somehow its different with me. not that i dont deserve a break but im scared if i give myself that pass, that break, i wont begin again.
tomorrow no excuses.
sick or not.
and there are no more cakesters thank goodness. they have now gone on my list of things i cant be trusted around.