Saturday, January 17, 2009
Why did I fall for my husbands lies again, I'm such a fool. we agreed I thought that we needed to rebuild trust, so I had him to take that woman off his myspace, he did. and I told him what I needed from him, and that was to show me all the e mails that she rights you from now on. he acted funny about it. he said no, I just will not read thenm and just delete them. I have ask him every day this week and he lied and said no, no e mails from her. Finally tonight I confronted him and he told me yes there was,but he read them and deleted them. THATS MEANS HE IS HIDING SOMETHING. he really thinks I'm stupid, well, I guess I am because I thought he would really show them to me he knew how important it was to me, I demanded to read them and he said I deleted them. I ask what did it say. he lied and said hi how are you. bull Sh--, I need GOD to help me because I can't deal with him. this is so hard on me. I need to move out SOON. I thought the reason I have not got that apartment was because it was meant for us to stay together. I shared that with Anthony yesterday and he kinda laughed, he said hats not what that means, GOD don't work that way. he does not care about our daily life. but I believe MY GOD does care about us. I'm worried so much because my husband has been following a preacher or what ever that's called the right division. He thinks GOD gave his son to die for our sins and rose again on the third day. that part IS SO TRUE but the other things he says bothers me, like GOD does not care about us, as long as we accept jesus died for our sins and rose again we all will be saved. so that he can cheat, lie and sneak around and all that is ok, I don't think so. I think we have to live the lfe, pray, ask forgiveness, praise GOD. and have a relationship with him. not just book knowledge and do as you want. it is like he chose this so he can do whatever he wants. I don't believe that. I believe people should know we are Christians by the way we talk, act and we all sin but we must ask forgiveness.my heart is broken again.