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    KIYOSHI04   60,931
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints

staring down a binge...

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

okay. the boyfriend is having a vi business p coming over friday so i have been up since 4:45 this am cleaning.
so, needless to say my goals from yesterday were not met.

no strength and no treadmill. i did make up my 35 minutes from yesterday and also did my two hours for today. just finished, actually. i had all but 40 minutes done before r. got home and when he went to basketball, i did it.
im surprised i did it. i am so tired it would have been easy to say no. and then when the exercise tv channel wouldnt work, it would have been easy to throw in the towel and say forget it.
but i tried again and it went through.

barely have sat down all day today. its almost nine and im barely at 1000 calories.
i did clean out the closet today. i also cleaned out another closet, too. so there, closets. we meet again next month.

yeah the scale isnt cooperating with me and i wanted to throw it out the window today.
224? wth?

so i got hot dog buns at the store yesterday for r.'s dinner (beer bratwurst) and last night i had two tofu pups on buns.
and today the tofu pups and buns were all i could think of. i was sitting there, thinking, you know, maybe i should up my calories a real lot since it isnt working with around 1700 calories. you know dee, spark does say you should be eating 2200 minimum... you can have tofu pups and buns.. even if you go over, thats okay because you know, tomorrow, you'll be right back on track.

and i was getting up to get another tofu pup and hot dog bun for lunch (after having one already) and im like, wow. is this a binge? am i planning to binge?

and then i got ....weirded out. i made a deal with myself that i could have one as a snack later. i mean, a tofu pup with a bun and even a TABLESPOON of ketchup is 160 calories, 1.5 g fat. not horrible.
(and i dont use a tablespoon since im allergic to tomatoes)
i kept to that deal all day. i had the two last hot dog buns for dinner with tofu pups... so they are gone now.
but a weird thing for me to want to ruin my calories over. you know?
i think its because i dont have bread products often since obviously i cant control myself over a stupid hot dog bun. and they werent even good ones, either. they were kinney drug 99 cent ones.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
DOXIELOVE09 1/16/2009 8:18PM

    Yes, I can also make carbs my "drug of choice." That is why I chose to go low carb to break the habit. Today, I have craved cupcakes. I don't know why, guess because I know I can't have it. Keep up the good work!

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SUZY6281 1/15/2009 3:29PM

    Yes, bread is my main craving. I would choose a loaf of bread over chocolate cake anyday. I can't have leftovers like that in my house because I think about them all day and try to convince myself that it won't hurt to get a bite or two. Then I end up eating the whole thing and hate myself later for it.

The main thing I noticed in this blog is how controlled you were. Even when you wanted to binge, you controlled it. I think that is wonderful.


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TEXX30 1/15/2009 2:39PM

  Ohhh...carbs. That's my downfall as well. I'm really impressed with your resolve to not binge but to wait and have them as snacks. GOOD JOB! The fact that you checked yourself and stopped is incredibly impressive!
Like Wendy said, the cleaning you did burned some calories there so don't feel like you haven't done enough.

Dee, you are seriously an inspiration. I know I've said it before (and guess what? I'm gonna say it again!), the amount of time and effort you put into staying on track is inspiring. Forget what the scale says, maybe it was just having an off day. You did awesome, and you have been having a great month overall. The weight will catch up with your effort, you'll see!!


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CWCMWHITE 1/15/2009 1:27PM

    Bread Binge...I can definitely relate to that. Tofu pups...yeah...I can do without, lol. You're doing great, Dee! Look how far you've come this past month. And I think you're forgetting to look at the number of cal you burn when you are cleaning the house and not sitting all day. don't be too hard on ROCK!

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JERSJOURNEY 1/15/2009 10:50AM

    Hi girl! I'm like this with bread too! Way to go on working through it. I think you are fantastic! emoticon emoticon

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YARELL 1/15/2009 7:11AM

    Yeah, another victory... that must make you about a zillion and the otherside at negative!!!!!

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KIWI122 1/15/2009 2:34AM

    1700 calories is not much, at least to me. The days I try to limit calories to around that amount always precede a day when I lose it and eat too much. I am sorry you are struggling with these feelings--I know what you mean about the bread products, too, because I love bread and to be without it would be really difficult and even upsetting. Hang in there. Maybe you are being too strict with yourself? I do hope you feel much better soon. You sound so upset. emoticon

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SQUISSHY1 1/14/2009 9:57PM

    I had a bad scale day, too. I was just like "blah, why did I even step on that hunk of metal!" Dang things...

Dee, Dee, the cleaning Queen! Sounds like a crazy day! I hope you found some time to put your feet up after all that work. Whew...

I cannot say I have ever had a tofu pup. Sounds interesting... Where do you get them?

It's understanding to want to binge. I had M&M minis today and they totally killed my calorie count...anyway. Glad to hear you held strong :-) Don't let those evil 99 cent hot dog buns get you! :-)

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