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i feel crazy

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Every time I think about trying to eat better, it seems like I do worse. This knee-jerk reaction of feeling deprived and not able to do it kicks in. I....simply don't know.

My ankles are swollen today...probably haven't had enough water, but I'm gaining...and the last time my ankles were swollen it was directly related to my weight. I'm ....sad that I feel this way. The last time I got up here was in AZ, and I was not happy. So, I'm here now and it's happening again. But I can't just blow up every time I'm not happy with my current situation.

I don't even feel like asking for help. On a brain level I know what I need to do. I'm smart enough. And I also know that I'm the only person who can do it for myself. I feel like I'm also feeding off of people around me...and that situation won't change for a while.

I *sigh* uhhh....I'm gonna get all my water in tomorrow. That's what I'm gonna do. And....every time I feel stressed I'm going to....listen to and sing along to some music.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sorry you are struggling! I know exactly what you mean and are feeling... I felt that way for the last 6 months.... I tried to self talk thinking and saying positive things to get me going but no matter what I thought and knew I felt the same and couldn't push myself to get motivated to take action and do what needs to get done to see results! Well this last week I finally got it back and the one thing that I'm doing different is I'm telling myself that I'm going to get to my goal weight this year! I'm putting my goal in mind to give me the motivation. It doesn't sound like I did a lot different than before but the one thing I was lacking before was a focal point. Sure I knew about my goal and where I wanted to be but I didn't use it as a focal point like I'm doing now! I don't know if this focal point will keep me on track all the way to the end or if this is just enough to spark me to get back on track for the time being but I'm going to use it for what it's worth.

    I wish I could say to do this one thing and all will work for you, but unfortunately we are different and what works for me may not work for you. Doesn't mean you can't try it (maybe you have)? But you have to keep fighting and trying new things to get you going or you'll never see results. It's not going to happen by itself and you know that, you yourself said that you're smart enough. So take any negative energy and put it aside or use it, turning it to a positive action. Start right now, not tomorrow or the next day but RIGHT NOW!!! Come on and join with me, we can fight this together!

    I'm here if you need me! Please take me up on that!!! I want to help you!!!
    3358 days ago
    I hope everything gets better girl. You are so worth it to keep going and do well. we love you and are all here for you with whatever you need us to do!

    need us to run? emoticon we run.

    need us to kick? emoticon we will.

    we'll bend over backwards emoticon for you.

    keep up your spark my friend.
    3359 days ago
    We are so here for you! If you ever need to chat send me an e-mail & I will give you my phone # and we can talk. I know its hard I have struggled a lot this weekend and ate horrible and I dont know why either, so it happens and we have to move forward! We can do this together :)
    3359 days ago
  • MOB8/2009
    Ah, baby, it's not help you need....it's support! You're in a rough patch right now (been there, done that) and are in serious need of some hugs! emoticon

    As to the fluid, are you sure you're not taking in too much salt? That would cause fluid retention in the ankles, much more than lack of water. Look at what you consumed today and see if you went over on your NaCl.

    So how canwe help? We're all here for you so give us some direction and we'll be all over you! emoticon
    3360 days ago
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