Wow, though-provoking for sure!
Being married to someone who has gourmet cooking as a hobby has its ups and downs. J makes fantastic meals - most of the time. But they are rarely planned or balanced, and often include wine, and are often served at 8 p.m. or later.
I like to eat early so I have my evenings free for projects. I don't sleep well after heavy, rich meals eaten late at night. I like balanced meals - meat, veg, salad... not eating one gourmet dish on its own because J forgot to make rice on the side!
J also cooks with heavy cream, butter, whole milk, ghee... since he has no trouble with cholesterol (as I do) or with exercising (I have FMS so, though I exercise, it is usually painful), he thinks fat and calories shouldn't be a problem for me.
While I respect that he enjoys cooking to relax, it interferes with my schedule, my shopping, and I am left to clean up a kitchen-full of pots and dishes. My own needs aren't considered, and I usually am so hungry by the time dinner is served that I've been snacking for a couple of hours. Add wine into the mix, and I lose all resolve about portion control.
I see plainly that if I am going to succeed in taking care of myself (and NO ONE is going to do it for me!), I must prepare my own meals. Maybe if I do so I can also convince J that if he wants to cook, he can also clean up after himself, since I'm not "benefiting" from his actions.
Sometimes I think he decides to cook just so he can get out of chores and other responsibilities he's supposed to be attending to! Isn't it FUNNY how many emotional issues are raised with food and cooking?
While I love J's ethnic dishes, I think simple, moderate eating will work best for me. Eating at regular times, and eating balanced meals, may require extra effort when I don't really feel like making it, BUT they will give me more energy and ability in the long run.
At least the dogs appreciate J's cooking; here he has prepared special New Year's plates for them (venison tenderloin and brown rice left over from our dinner. Got to love that parsley garnish!)